Gulaal in Belgium!!! - The Inverse Proportion

It's not about Holi in Belgium - it's about the movie Gulaal and the concept of "Privy purses" and the inverse relationship with "Dole money".

The movie does not have any stance to make it to even a C grade/category. However it made me ponder about the mind sets of the Kings and the Princes who might have lived or suffered in more than one way when the Republic of India was formed in 1947. And a basic similarity between this style of living to that of the immigrants in Belgium.

So what's this all about - the basics:

* privy purse - allowance for a monarch's personal expenses after seizing his property and title by democratic governments.

* dole money - social security allowance paid out to the unemployed/ or poor people in Belgium (and many other countries)

The Nawabs of Hyderabad (for example) were asked to give up their titles, land and money in 1947 and the Govt of India metered out some dough in proportion to their previous estates and incomes. Obviosuly this was a huge difference of lifestyles leading to severe heart burn and depression for many. The true story of riches to rags! In 1970's the Indira Gandhi govt abolished the concept of Privy purses too and asked them to go and live in the real world - earn their own money. Finally they became paupers in their own land.

Look at this contrast -

Here in Belgium dole money is very popular. People have no qualms of being 'chômage' (unemployed) infact they thrive on it. Belgium's immigrant policies are very flexible and it provides asylum to many of the East European immigrants and how do all these people survive? The main problem is that the unemployed are entitled to the dole without limitation in time and can only lose it if they refuse too often to take jobs that the National Organisation for Employment (ONEM) proposes to them. An unemployed person in Belgium receives in average 723 euro per month (in 2005), but sometimes over 1000 euro for married people with chidlren. Through organizations like CPAS this amount can go up. Well who will work when such luxury is given on a platter! Finally they become richer in foreign lands. Rags to Riches?

Maybe this is what they call the Circle of Life - The Wheel of Fortune or whatever! So, whether you are rich or poor now doesnt matter as we dont know what the future holds. Until then let's just enjoy each Day!

"Shopoholism" - Impulsive or Compulsive?

Anything from window shopping to spending some great time at the mall with your girlfriends can be the best moments of a woman's life.

For most women, shopping can be a compulsive or mostly an impulsive decision. Compulsive is a regular - HAVE TO shopping binge, a much needed emotional counterpart, an adrenaline high and something to talk about. Impulsive shopping is when you accompany someone and have no particular reason to buy something but still pick it up for the heck of it - because it entered your line of vision.

Both types bring a smile to anyone's face as long as they are under control. There's a simple OLD saying - Excess of Anything is BAD.

Here are some easy ways to check if your shopping is bordering on the danger zone called SHOPOHOLISM.

- Spending over budget.

- Compulsive buying - the have to keep buying syndrome

- Hiding the problem as in hiding your purchases

- A vicious circle - you feel guilty about dumb purchases

- Impaired relationships - you keep fighting with your partner over the shopping

- Clear consequences - guilt, fights, low finances, etc.

Some of these might be true for most people - but if 3 or more are TRUE then Lady or Gentleman you HAVE a real Challenge! Check THIS and you can get back to some happy shopping.

Happy Ugadi Shopping - I just started mine today (and thus some realistic checks on my shopping personality). I'm safe for now - hope you are too!!!

Coup de grâce - EXIT mercifully?

In other words Mercy Killing or Euthenasia! I know this is an old and quite a sensitive topic. I'm not going to get into whether it's Right or Wrong.

I have a neighbour, a very old lady living alone, who suffers from time to time with various ailments. Yesterday the ambulances and the nurses were all over the place trying to strap her onto the stretcher, while she continued talking to me. She kept alternating between prayers and some delirium and said it would be better to die in a dignified manner. That got me thinking about the laws and I was shocked to discover that I'm living in a country which has many pro-Euthenasia laws. I must have read about it earlier but it has to hit you to make you realise it!

Some basic thought provoking facts:
- The term euthanasia comes from the Greek words "eu"-meaning good and "thanatos"-meaning death, which combined means “well-death” or "dying well".
For me, "Dying well" means being remembered with love by friends and family and having made that tiny little mark in the world.

- This term was very loosely used by the Nazis for their famous acts of Genocide. Wiping out a complete race may have effectively helped them find their way to Hell!

- Euthenasia can be Voluntary or Involuntary. It can be Passive, Non-Active or Active. It can also be in the form of 'Assited Suicide'.
Choose your style and move to a country that supports it. It's SIMPLE! What a choice!

- Most religions in the world support forms of Euthenasia mostly the Passive form. Some call it Charity, some call it God's Call. Some Samurai rituals are akin to the active euthenasia techinques.

Now who can really believe there's God if our scriptures say we shouldn't prolong life unnecessarily - hanging on by a bare thread is supposed to be Insulting as per most religions!!!

The Belgian law allows 'assisted suicide' form of euthenasia and it was the second country in the world to make euthenasia legal. Allow people to Live in Dignity and to Die in Dignity is the motto. Some people here actually believe that it allows them to sleep happily knowing that they have this CHOICE.

I don't know whether we are aiming at relieving the Body or the Soul in these contexts. It's a humbling thought to realize that Death is inevitable but accepting that it's the Cycle of Life makes it easier to live - I feel!

Today I heard from the hospital that the old lady is better and might come back home soon. Let's pray for her and may God help her with her choices...

The Plus Size 'Framing'!

Due to the human development over centuries the size of the human being has increased over time. How do we let a woman know this without touching on the sentimentalities. By Framing...

In architecture, one of the most common ways of making healthy and large people feel smaller is by expanding the world around them. Architectural designers call it “framing.” A person who is big does not want to look big. So if their house is bigger, they will look of a more average proportion. Over the past 20 years, the fashion industry has manipulated clothing sizes to accommodate its widening public, especially women. (Source Encyclopaedia).

If you observe carefully there would be an average of 2 inch variance in a 1980's dress size and a 2000's dress size. For example 20 years ago a size 6 (US) would now be a size 0.That's getting SMART!

In India, I always felt frustrated going out shopping as I never could find any ready to wear clothes to suit my style (read as size). Many shopkeepers even insulted me by saying sorry Mam we don't stock clothes for tall women or some such comments. The ultimate feeling was I was some female version of Godzilla! Most tall and healthy women complained of similar experiences of shame and disgust they felt. The concept of Framing probably passed-by the Indian fashion industry which definitely needed some inputs.

They are losing customers and their credibility. Many friends used to go to Dubai or London every 6 months just to avoid the disgusting experiences in the Indian shops. Now that I have experienced shopping abroad I totally agree with them - although at that time I used to feel it was an expense. But, yes its worth it.

The western men and women have larger bone structures and naturally the sizes vary a lot. In the US you can also get a jeans with a 56 waist size - off the shelf! That's as how far you can get...not that you should try it.

Shopping relaxes and pleases me always and especially here because most of my dresses would be easy to find and at a starting range. Gives me a kick to know I'm fine and not Godzilla after all! No need to try any Framing for me ! I fit in as I'm Tiny after all - do you see?

Note: Thanks to Anu I discovered the pleasures of shopping abroad. Anu this is for you and me.

Three Dumb Men!

This is the story of three unfortunate souls who happened to fall repeatedly into my line of vision and invariably all these times were when they acted quite dumb.

I'm not a feminist - gotto make that clear before I proceed as this might easily relate to women too.

Scene 1 - at the L'arret du bus - Bus stop

Strangers greet each other - Bonjour- and make polite conversation and wait for the bus. Three Indian men(TIM) walk into the shelter and shyly look around. One of them manages a murmur of greeting. After sometime I join this group and greet everyone. The TIM ignore me and continue talking loudly in Hindi. Everyone looks at them and then at me like an action replay - curious because we are all Indians but not greeting each other. One old lady asked me today why the TIM ignored me and the first thing that came to my mind was Dumb, then I remembered some cultural funda of men not looking at women etc. Whatever it is, it definitely makes me feel very odd when I encounter TIMs in such situations. They look the other way and completly ignore our presence (women) whereas the European neighbours are polite and friendly. People obviously think its wierd and I get incensed.

Scene 2 - Crossing the Road

Next, I encountered the TIM crossing the road some 50 meters from a zebra crossing. We have well defined rules out here to use the Zebra crossing. Unfortunately they were stopped by a policeman who asked them if they were blind or Dumb to ignore rules. Now, that I understand French I couldn't control my laughter and tried to run away but as these men couldnt understand a word of French the policeman asked me to translate. Maybe it's written on my face - Translator! Anyway they were fined 50 euros for illegal crossing and warned. Lucky that he didnt charge per head!!!

Scene 3 - In the Supermarket

My trolley was loaded and I was busy trying to get them billed. And Lo! Behold whom do I encounter in the neighbouring line - obviously the TIMs. There were having some argument with the superboy/man. Having lived here for some years all the superboys know me and obviously turned to me for help. You know the language barrier and the board on my face...guess what this time:

a. They picked up one banana, two onions, one brinjal, etc. which were difficult to measure.

b. They also tried to buy one shampoo, one toothpaste from sealed - ON sale packs of three each - again a difficulty to bill

c. Last but not the least they were trying to argue and ask for discounts on each item.

I tried to explain that this is not done out here and there were some basic rules of shopping and got thoroughly embarassed. Luckily it was a non-busy timing and I escaped by saying that they might be new to Belgium.

Unfortunately if some Indians behave this way, the entire race of NRIs abroad are likely to be considered nothing but DUMB - a polite version of anything. It might be funny to read but such encounters leave me frustrated and annoyed with the Educated NRIs living in style and behaving very you-know-what!

I hope at some point there might be a change and they suddenly become Three Wise Men! Let's Pray!

Note: This has no relation to anyone in particular and for the sake of writing it's been written as a story - but surely the incidents are true and have been observed over a period of time with various TIMs.

Tiny Me - SP?!?

Anyone who knows me now would laugh outright or be surprised at the wonderful adjective attributed to me! For one I'm not Tiny, I am tall and healthy as per the Indian stds., nor am I the silent you can go-past me without noticing me kinds! Literally or figuratively it doesnt apply at all...

Wonders and Wonders that's exactly what I was called recently and I almost fell out of my seat ! Reminded me of the 'Adjectives Lesson' learnt in school - something to do with superlative, comparative etc. The truth knocked me on my head - that an adjective is most definitely a perception and people perceive things as per their culture and things/people/objects around them.

The first 20 years of my life I was ragged constantly by friends, cousins, neighbours anyone and everyone that I was painstakingly, undernourishingly thin as a stick and people would think I'm a tiny kid always. How horrible! But then teasing has no limits. Well after marriage I moved to the other extreme of this teasing on how I starve my husband and enjoy all the food in the world. You may blame it on marital bliss, total and thorough pampering by my in-laws or the dreaded hormonal changes - Don't care what but I did add on some well needed pounds and now am ragged for that too! I got used this side of teasing for quite sometime now, that it took me a moment to realise that I was being called TINY recently at a gathering!

Can it be true? Yes it was and it was a general statement against the Indians and the French too - something like - Look at the Indians they are so TINY for example our SP here...(hee hee whatever I liked it for a moment). The next moment I loved it coz M added that - She's definitely Tiny and the kid in our group but cannot be ignored full of opinions, ideas and always restless. That's definitely Me so, I took it with a pinch of salt and kept quiet! (And obviously he became my best buddy of the week.)

Imagine these guys Germans and Dutch all of them well over 6 feet and well built, are used to seeing their women equally tall and healthy. Oh! I forgot there were some Africans too in the group - M being one of them. Ghanians and Congolese are really Huge! If they think I'm TINY then let it be- I'm simply enjoying the attention. Mingling with people from different cultures can truly be a blessing at times...

Now if anyone calls me 'Healthy' I'll still grin and grin! If you see me with a grinning face then just grin back!

"Wasabi" - The Green Fire Dragon

Hello there - don't think this is a Fairy tale as the heading sounds. Now imagine a dragon breathing Fire - Would you like to become one? You must have seen some people breathe fire in Carnivals and fetes. It's actually quite easy to transform into one as I discovered being the recipient of one my husband's jokes recently!

It's simple eat WASABI and breathe some Green Fire. That's exactly what I did. Popped 2 Wasabi peanuts coz hubs claimed they were amazing and spicy and asked me to trust him (I should have got the hint with all that convincing but sometimes I can be dense). Oh La! La! AbracaDabra! and SP became a hopping fire dragon for the next 4 minutes. My hubs was obviously rolling on the floor while I enacted this Fire Dragon Act! Grrrr....

It must have been real funny to see me with fire in my mouth and tears rolling down my eyes and trying not to choke and wondering what hit me and hopping mad and all that ended in one kicking brawl. But, the amazing thing was that this feeling lasted for only 3-4 minutes and then there was a numbness followed by a craving to taste more to find out what the hell was that I had eaten. Sceptically I started on the next wasabi peanut trying to get the essence of it and now believe me I'm hooked! Wasabi is the next best thing to chilli on my list now...

Its a Japanese spice known as Japanese horseradish. It's root is used as a spice and has an extremely strong flavour. Its hotness is more like hot mustard than a chilli pepper, producing vapors that irritate the nasal passage more than the tongue. That's why I was hopping mad for only 3-4 minutes unlike a chilli which can burn your tongue for 10 minutes sometimes. Its green paste is used a condiment for sashimi and sushi dishes mostly. Its also available as as a spice in supermarkets or as an ingredient in some packed food like the wasabi peanuts I ate.

Anyone who has dared to try this before or willing to try it now please let me know your reactions.

Going Dutch - The Best Way!

I'm sure most of my generation Indians would clearly understand this 'slang' phrase. "Going Dutch is a slang term indicating that each person participating in a shared activity pays for himself or herself, rather than any one person paying for anyone else. It is also called Dutch date and Dutch Treat." - Webster's

The other day I was out for lunch with a couple of my European friends and when the "l'addition" arrived no one jumped at it and one guy calculated how much each should contribute and then it was superbly settled by everyone pitching in and sharing right to the last pence. I'm used to this by now and I like it tons. I declared that 'Going Dutch' was simply superb and gave all of us many more opportunities to meet. None of the guys understood what that phrase was and there were some Dutch and German guys in the group too. I tried to rack my brains about the meaning of the term and it's origins and prayed that I hadn't insulted anyone by using it. I promised all of them to throw more light on the ancestry of this phrase and explained that it means exactly what we did.

In Europe 'Going Dutch' is a common way of living EVEN between a husband and a wife - some feministic outlook I suppose. Almost all the times when I go out with my husband we are asked if we'd like to pay together or seperatly. That's part of the culture here. But where did that phrase originate? It's very simple its an etiquette followed in the Netherlands. During the Anglo - Dutch wars, over the centuries, the English uncovered this etiquette - vastly different from the English chivalry and thus a source of entertainment. At first it was used to ridicule people but later became a more accepted form of modern living.

In India I grew up with the more traditional form of payment method, i.e. the MAN pays it all. My husband conforms to the old world traditions in all payments and never allows me to spend a dime until its a present for him. (It's fantastic for me but unbelievable for my European friends. Most of them think I lead the life of a princess or some royalty coz my husband pays it all...) So dear friends this phrase is simply a reflection of the culture followed in most parts of northern Europe and America. The southern half of Europe is more traditional. Italy, Greece, Spain are like India where the Man or the Head of the Family pays.

Amongst the youth it's changing and they might use various phrases depending on which part of the world they are eating in : pagare alla romana, hesabı Alman usulü ödemek, pagar a la americana, a la ley de Cristo... cada quien con su pisto, TTMM - Tera Tu Mera Main (this I never heard), Kanya-Kanyang Bayad, "AA制 (AA zhì) = Going Dutch!