Being a twins mom I haven't actually written anything much on kids or raising twins. Well my twins are Five and I think its high time I gave this a thought and get to some interesting learnings to share. The series has started...
Lets start with some general society inputs which I love - surrounding twins just my experience:
- Ooooh "They are twins?!!" How nice...and now this has changed to real surprise as my son is actually 15cms taller at five years a head and shoulder above his sister. But still you CAN make out they are twins...Now I've heard this statement so many times that I try to pleasantly smile and say something polite. Ofcourse everytime we meet new people the statement repeats - is it a question or surprise or just happy to meet twins...I'm happy to hear it as it was definitely the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT event in my life!
- Next "How lucky you have boy and a girl! You have finished it at one go wow and more wows!" I really dont know what I'm supposed to have finished but thanks yes I'm lucky to have the boy and the girl really and love kids and always ready to have many more. Dont be scared its my choice!
- The next wonderful question which I trend upon "So were your twins natural?" Aww whatever... but being an Indian I really dont mind being cornered answering this even though it's personal. Well its not a particular nation or culture asking this question almost everybody in Belgium in the hospitals too ask this as multiple conceivements in Belgium are rare. And then whatever answers I give to this no one believes and jump to conclusions and start giving fantastic advice so just smile and keep smiling!
- Then everyone has to definitely tell me in the bus, in the hospital, in the tram in the metro about a pair of twins they know and some definite event around their memories. I'm a good listener YES thanks! But I do have "twins" hanging onto me and talking nineteen to the dozen and confusing the hell out of me and the the entire neighbourhood. Can we spare a minute for them? I'm sure many of my friends have noticed my confused expressions around such events...some have deviously enjoyed too at my expense!
- The best ofcourse is " It's all done now yaar you are free they are FIVE and independent! Lucky gal...!" Hey-lo is that a joke? Everyday it gets worse more and more work and tough handling. The ultimate challenge to answer two mischievous trapping questions at the same time!
Try this for starters - Twin ONE the smart ass: "Can I eat this chocolate?" Mom says yes if you hungry just eat now (get it over with damn)...The other one sermons - "But dad said he shouldn't eat chocolates they are bad for health and the doctor said we should stop this as much as possible, and I wonder why you are allowing him to continue eating THAT chocolate, so may I eat it too?" YES YES I will fight the world just eat those two damn chocolates and dont lecture me!
- The toughest is when they fall ill together and the mom is dead tired. Is there a difference in siblings falling ill and twins falling ill together? Well in twins theres an emotional bond whatever type of twin and yes they DO fall ill together and the recovery is much harder as they NEED to emotionally and physically recover together. This is true 90% of the times.
- AND let me tell you NO ONE can prepare you for HAVING twins you are just thrown into it and then you have no choice. Another famous misconception everyone has - "SP you are great you managed very well!" Let me put this to a permanent rest - NO I DID NOT manage well - I slogged, I cried, I experimented, I had sleepless nights, I cried more, I planned, I organized, I picked the doctors brains, I carefully filled every minute to read and research, I shouted at my husband and I still shout and ask him to use ear plugs (someone needs to listen too), and more...and still trying to survive the challenge of being a twins mom!
I'm truly blessed with friends around me who love my twins as much as they love me and we've been having a great time bringing them up together. The society is just understanding that bringing up twins is a whole new challenge and needs continuous support from everyone around. Children grow up with love and acceptance and that's the single most important thing in their lives! Lets share the love...
BUT dear Twins Moms gear up the WORK never ends and the FUN continues and the Patience and Energy Decreases...and that's your LIFE!
Signing off from my mischievous duo...