Twins Mom!

Being a twins mom I haven't actually written anything much on kids or raising twins. Well my twins are Five and I think its high time I gave this a thought and get to some interesting learnings to share. The series has started...

Lets start with some general society inputs which I love - surrounding twins just my experience:  

- Ooooh "They are twins?!!" How nice...and now this has changed to real surprise as my son is actually 15cms taller at five years a head and shoulder above his sister. But still you CAN make out they are twins...Now I've heard this statement so many times that I try to pleasantly smile and say something polite. Ofcourse everytime we meet new people the statement repeats - is it a question or surprise or just happy to meet twins...I'm happy to hear it as it was definitely the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT event in my life!  

- Next "How lucky you have boy and a girl! You have finished it at one go wow and more wows!" I really dont know what I'm supposed to have finished but thanks yes I'm lucky to have the boy and the girl really and love kids and always ready to have many more. Dont be scared its my choice!  

- The next wonderful question which I trend upon "So were your twins natural?" Aww whatever... but being an Indian I really dont mind being cornered answering this even though it's  personal. Well its not a particular nation or culture asking this question almost everybody in Belgium in the hospitals too ask this as multiple conceivements in Belgium are rare. And then whatever answers I give to this no one believes and jump to conclusions and start giving fantastic advice so just smile and keep smiling!  

- Then everyone has to definitely tell me in the bus, in the hospital, in the tram in the metro about a pair of twins they know and some definite event around their memories. I'm a good listener YES thanks! But I do have "twins" hanging onto me and talking nineteen to the dozen and confusing the hell out of me and the the entire neighbourhood. Can we spare a minute for them? I'm sure many of my friends have noticed my confused expressions around such events...some have deviously enjoyed too at my expense! 
 

- The best ofcourse is " It's all done now yaar you are free they are FIVE and independent! Lucky gal...!" Hey-lo is that a joke? Everyday it gets worse more and more work and tough handling. The ultimate challenge to answer two mischievous trapping questions at the same time!

Try this for starters - Twin ONE the smart ass: "Can I eat this chocolate?" Mom says yes if you hungry just eat now (get it over with  damn)...The other one sermons - "But dad said he shouldn't eat chocolates they are bad for health and the doctor said we should stop this as much as possible, and I wonder why you are allowing him to continue eating THAT chocolate, so may I eat it too?" YES YES  I will fight the world just eat those two damn chocolates and dont lecture me!

- The toughest is when they fall ill together and the mom is dead tired. Is there a difference in siblings falling ill and twins falling ill together? Well in twins theres an emotional bond whatever type of twin and yes they DO fall ill together and the recovery is much harder as they NEED to emotionally and physically recover together. This is true 90% of the times.

 

- AND let me tell you NO ONE can prepare you for HAVING twins you are just thrown into it and then you have no choice. Another famous misconception everyone has - "SP you are great you managed very well!" Let me put this to a permanent rest - NO I DID NOT manage well - I slogged, I cried, I experimented, I had sleepless nights, I cried more, I planned, I organized, I picked the doctors brains, I carefully filled every minute to read and research, I shouted at my husband and I still shout and ask him to use ear plugs (someone needs to listen too), and more...and still trying to survive the challenge of being a twins mom!  

I'm truly blessed with friends around me who love my twins as much as they love me and we've been having a great time bringing them up together. The society is just understanding that bringing up twins is a whole new challenge and needs continuous support from everyone around. Children grow up with love and acceptance and that's the single most important thing in their lives! Lets share the love...

 

BUT dear Twins Moms gear up the WORK never ends and the FUN continues and the Patience and Energy Decreases...and that's your LIFE!

 

 

 Signing off from my mischievous duo...

 

 

Inspire!

Has anyone had such an influence on you to have inspired you to achieve more in life/act differently? I'm sure everyone comes across someone like this. It's good to remember these people from time to time and check whether they are just memories or do you actually follow some of their principles.

For you to have elevated someone to that status you must have been in awe of them. And you might have respected their outlook to life. I've met a lot of people in my life and I have to say a lot again because it's really a lot...I have this general ability to simply interact with all and sundry. Amongst these people I've had the advantage to meet a few excellent individuals worth meeting in a life time. Today I'd like to mention one of them - VK 'sir' or VK.

He taught me some subjects somewhere a long long time ago. I've always had tremendous respect for the 'gurus' in my life (my parents being teachers) but what was different about this guru was that he was close to my age and talked so much sense! Well and he spoke so much sense in so much style and kept us all hanging onto his words. He was charming, brilliant and brainy. Throw in handsome and he was a deadly combination. I think I always felt studies and masti went together but he kept me in line by making me concentrate on ranks. A word from him and I used to work harder, push myself that much more and well ofcourse achieve something more(imagine he made me get some national ranks...me!)

He was the first person who told me I would be better in front of a classroom of students - teaching them - than whiling away my time in front of a comp (IT prof)! Well and look where that got me - I'm now a Behavioral consultant with some wonderful experience with the largest MNCs in the world! And the best thing about this man was he was Simple, Humble and really Down to Earth.

Just remembering him gets a smile to my face always. Sometimes when I feel too great about myself (especially after wonderful feedback from clients and trainees) I think of VK and feel humble. VK will always remain a great friend in my life whom I respect a lot!

Thanks VK. This is for you.

(The only other person who would totally understand my feeling about this is EG obviously!)

Back to Blogging

After a long break I felt that I need to get back to my blog. The break was a necessity more than sheer laziness. I really missed scribbling in all forms -blog or diary or even just a small scrap of paper. It simply wasn't possible lying down in a horizontal position.

After the birth of the twins life simply revolved around them and it took me a while to start breathing normally and get a grip on life.

Now I've got back some semblence and hope to start scribbling in earnest. My mind is bursting and my fingers are itching to type away to glory...

Let the stories begin...

Let my Country Awake...Rabindranath Tagore

Where The Mind is Without Fear

WHERE the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Rabindranath Tagore

I remembered this poem today while reading about the current state of affairs in India. It is self-explanatory, apt and very touching.

Tagore - a Great man! Great Poet well ahead of his times! Although written during the Pre-Independence era it transcends boundaries of time and place and is suitable for Independent India too! He wants our country to become a place where many wonderful qualities exist: fearlessness, knowledge, unity, truth, useful work, reason, and progress. This is a journey not a destination and needs a lot of effort.

A small step by each one of us will take us there...

Radio City Hyderabad AND Me!

Radio City is almost like a lifeline for me like the 911 or emergencey numbers - it gives me a great sense of security!

It's on throughout the time I'm at home and I feel absolutely thrilled to hear the Time Check, news on the Traffic Jams, the weather and the lil tidbits of news I get about Hyderabad. I feel as I'm back home and commuting to work listening to the radio in the car. Great connection!


Sometimes when I speak with mom I keep telling her news about Hyd and she's gets surprised that I'm so up-to-date! Thanks to Radio City!


Apart from the lifeline it provides, it's great FUN too living upto its slogan - Whatte Fun! In the recent past I loved the Navvula Don and the silly jokes and narrations. There aren't too many stupid ads like some other channels and its got a good balance of programs. The DJs of this channel are mature and highly energetic keeping the audience on their toes, interested.


To top it all this channel has my best friend as a prominent DJ! The world famous Anna the one and only Vamsee Anna (only for the guys!) Ha ha!


(P.S. - Dear Vamsee this blog-post is dedicated to u! I might write more soon...)

Elections in India - Death by Boredom for the NRIs!!!

Chatting with friends across the globe I observed that their energy levels seemed to be in Recession! For the past six months due to the global economic changes most NRIs have been really down and depressed. This month it has reached its peak due to the elections in India.

How's that? Mostly there are 3 common sources of entertainment in the week for NRIs:

1. Read the newspaper - Indian news, regional news and anything remotely related to the city they come from to feel connected.

2. Watch cricket and more cricket and even more cricket if its possible - to feel the Indian spirit.

3. Watch every damn single movie released or not released in India to while away an evening. If its in the mother tongue then its better or else atleast in Hindi.

Now translate that into the current situation:

1. Every single newspaper or article is about the depressing Politics in the Elections. No clear cut mandate about the results. No single party majority. Every single politician's gory history is dragged through the mud. Overall sounds like a hopeless form of government led by crooks and criminals.

- Offers no sense of support to a person seeking a connection to his homeland.

2. Cricket - with the IPL moving out of India (due to the elections!) we've lost out on the biggest chunk of entertainment series. We cannot see the massive crowds, turnouts cheering every single match and cricketer and the frenzy that only an Indian crowd can achieve is unmistakably lost. About the interesting cheerleaders of last year's matches - well they probably will be shipped to South Africa - but thanks we've seen enough of them in our baseball and football matches out here! Sniff sniff...Now watching the matches will be a passing event - to be watched but not to live through it.

3. Movies the biggest ever hit - a combination of the final exams times and the elections period has seen a slump in the releases. I suppose the recession has affected it too. Overall there's nothing entertaining to watch nothing to look forward too. The movies online are pathetic and there are absolutely nothing we can do about it.

With every other NRI either packing up and going back to India or unemployed the levels of uncertainty have risen. With the three main sources of entertainmet drying up I can only call the situation a dead-end! Weekdays are long and boring and the psychiatrists may have a field day with the Stressed NRIs. Weekends can be even more pathetic coz no one is spending much to be on the safe side in 2009.

Overall its Death by Boredom out here for most NRIs.

What keeps us alive, what allows us to endure?I think it is the hope of loving or being loved. - Meister Eckhart. (Loving here symbolises stability and some connection to the homeland which inspires this stability! )

Dheeraj Rakho! Himmat Rakho!

Soulmates!!!

Soulmates - who are they? Do they exist? Do u have one? Well I do!

To Have one - Its thrilling! Its enriching! Its FUN! Its life! Its like smiling while eating your favorite ice cream - close your eyes and savour the taste. That's what a soulmate does to you - keeps you in a constant secure zone of trust and friendship!

And this happens only when 2 people feel they bond and at the same time! You cannot go upto someone and say hey hi would you be my soulmate! That's hilarious. You've gotta connect and feel it.

People laugh when I say I have a couple of soulmates. Cant help it I just do have two people whom I have really connected with well and really well. Hmm Maybe that's why I have these extra amounts of bountiful energy, never say die attitude and the ever lasting smile on my face! Someone once said that I've got this irritating Positive attitude and outlook well that's just me - Thanks to my friends. Couldn't ask for anything more rite?

Sometimes a chance meeting can bond you with someone asap. Sometimes it takes years to understand that you've been staring at your soulmate for all that time without realising it. Sometimes you just know it!

And what is the difference in best friends and soulmates? I think friendship is something which needs constant interaction to thrive. Soulmates do not. U can be totally out of touch for sometime but u know that they are there. My hubs has this one soulmate - although he doesn't call him so - u know how it is different for guys - they generally don't like expressing through such words! Anyway these two guys maybe haven't met in 6 years but declare themselves as die hard friends fans and more and knowing both of them - I can say Yes they are! Well there's your soulmate.

Someone who understands you so well that she completes your thoughts and sentences. You don't have to explain a damn thing - no excuses - no explanations - nothing - just be yourself - no pretensions.

Every husband and wife might not achieve this relationship but it would be great to be soulmates. Its only on paper or in a romantic novel. But mostly in a married relationship people expect too much of each other or take each other for granted which is detrimental to the concept of soulmates. Well that's another issue all together and digresses from the topic.

Another thing about soulmates is that everyone who knows you will also know, hear or meet your soulmate!!! Its kinda irritating but then that's what happens. They kind of grow on you... so much so that your family, friends and colleagues all hear about it. Now imagine life when u have 4-5 soulmates. Your conversation would revolve around them about them and everyone around you would get pissed off. Imagine the time when u fall in love and have this dreamy eyes starry look. Soulmates give you that hazy look on a permanent level because you are so confident so secure so assured that people care for you and that you have someone to depend on! That's goes right to the core of the human wants in life - love and security!

It scores 10/10 on the human scale. That's a unique thing you might be lucky to get in life! I'm blessed and hope you are too...Have fun!

Irresistable it is and at the cost of repeating myself I simply have to mention the names on my list - One is ofcourse my dearest hubs and best friend Chandrashekar. The other is also ofcourse Ekta our friendship simply transcends all these earthly words.

If you haven't heard of these two people in my life then you dont know me at all!