What's In a Name - Part II

 

 

Well Let me beg to differ Monsieur...Life starts with a name Your name - In the western world you are named at birth and in many Asian cultures you have a "naming ceremony" but the child is born with the family name in place.

 

As we move across cultures there is a major disparity on whats a first name, last name, family name, middle name and such. Not only many names across the globe have 4-5 words we do not know what's what! Call it anything Voornaam, Achternaam, Familienaam, Naam, Prenom, Nom or simple First name, Middle Name(s) or Last Name its still confusing. It wonderful each part of the name actually has a name to it...superb and all those who are reading this would relate to a simple 'first' name and 'last' name as what comes first and last.

 

In Polite society we have prefixes like Mr., Dr., Mrs., Miss etc and the same way in French Monsieur or Madame and in Dutch Meneer or Mevrouw. Now I give you a name Dr. Grijs Phillipe. Kindly decipher this for me how do you address him? Dr. Philippe or Dr. Grijs and what is the first and what is the last name...Recently I had my most embarrassing moment in sometime when I got this wrong and the gentleman was offended. Well that's why this blog to help anyone reading...My dear friends welcome to the world of confusion. For me Phillipe sounded like the first name but I kept scratching my head on why it was written second and I got caught anyway.

 

I apologised as he was my own doctor and couldn't afford to insult him. I said across cultures this gets difficult and had to correct myself. End of story there then I did tons of research mighty google and discussed with many neighbours and reached a few key take aways which I'm sharing:

 

- " The study of names is called onomastics, a field which touches on linguistics, history, anthropology, psychology, sociology, philology and much more." Source Wiki...In Human readable language that means names have a big history they were just not made up SO NEVER assume anything about anyone's name. Kindly respect each one! Try to find out their meaning or origins people actually love to talk about these just try it out for small talk soon...

 

- RULE 1: In European and European influenced cultures like the Americas,  Africa and Oceania its more common to write the name in a common format : First name Middle name Last name.

RULE 2: Now there's something called the Eastern Order which reverses this...obviously has to clash with RULE 1 (didn't I say welcome to confusion sometime back) their format : Last Name Middle Name(s) First Name (ouch)!

To avoid confusion about why is first last and last first lets rename these and make an easy format : Family Name Middle Name(s) Given Name how's that...thats readable.  

AND please believe that many countries in Europe actually follow this. Slovekian countries, Greece, part of Germany,  Netherlands!!!

RULE 3: The Far eastern countries China, Japan, Korea and friendly neighbours all follow the European Order of writing names. Infact in Japanese they write vertically and the Family name comes first and their format is : Upper Name Middle Name(s) Given name

 

In simple words that means kindly ask new people what is the family name when they give you a card and don't commit faux pas like I did! I was on phone luckily and heard the tirade...oops yes!

 

- Then guess what some cultures\ countries said we don't care about all these and go by ONE single name called the Mononym wow smart! Well u may use the prefixes or not its upto your association with the person. If you are a friend drop the prefix if its a business acquaintance then greet with a prefix! Easy ain't it?

 

That's name formats...and in my friendly interviews and discussions in the neighbourhood and my Belgian friends I heard many say that in Belgium everyone writes RULE 2 Eastern Order format which is not true. Belgium is a true cosmopolitan city and there are settlers from various cultures generations ago moved from other places and how they write their names hasn't changed. Majority of the French and Dutch Belgians would write as in RULE 1. But the mixed cultures as in father is Greek mom is English get very confused and go by the Eastern Order at times.

 

 

 

One of my neighbours got really excited on this topic and gave me her interesting opinion. She said please understand the history of Europe we have had an interesting dominating neighbour namely United Kingdom seeking to conquer the world from generations ago centuries ago. To defy them some countries in Europe also started following Eastern Order just to spite them. Long ago the world was united and Eastern Asia was not far away we just split as you know from the geography and ofcourse some ideas and traditions are the same. Aren't many Russian and Indian names running parallel even now?

Well hats off to her bold answers she's a Professor of Sociology at Leuven university and teaches Mphil,  Phd students. I'm blessed to be her neighbour as we have such interesting discussions...

 

So finally how do we read Dr. Grijs Philippe? Ofcourse its easy call him Dr. Grijs with respect and if possible fold your hands he loves it! He's a French Belgian with some Greek origins roots four generations ago he told me a few meetings and greetings with respect later...wow and my research worked right? I shall find a minute or two to tell him he led me to new discoveries! But first impressions are really important luckily I goofed on the phone after my first few impressions so I survived.

 

When in quandary always ask! Or read the full name...that's a last option but better than goofing!

 

Have fun and hope this blog helps a few readers! Have to end with my favourite quote of all times!

Well yes we agree and we shall try to get it right too.

 

 

 

 

 You may read Part one too for more information.

(I have used my doctors name with permission told him its getting onto my blog! As ever any opinions expressed here are purely mine and not influenced by any culture and not intended to hurt anyone)

 

 

 

 

Gulaal in Belgium!!! - The Inverse Proportion

It's not about Holi in Belgium - it's about the movie Gulaal and the concept of "Privy purses" and the inverse relationship with "Dole money".

The movie does not have any stance to make it to even a C grade/category. However it made me ponder about the mind sets of the Kings and the Princes who might have lived or suffered in more than one way when the Republic of India was formed in 1947. And a basic similarity between this style of living to that of the immigrants in Belgium.

So what's this all about - the basics:

* privy purse - allowance for a monarch's personal expenses after seizing his property and title by democratic governments.

* dole money - social security allowance paid out to the unemployed/ or poor people in Belgium (and many other countries)

The Nawabs of Hyderabad (for example) were asked to give up their titles, land and money in 1947 and the Govt of India metered out some dough in proportion to their previous estates and incomes. Obviosuly this was a huge difference of lifestyles leading to severe heart burn and depression for many. The true story of riches to rags! In 1970's the Indira Gandhi govt abolished the concept of Privy purses too and asked them to go and live in the real world - earn their own money. Finally they became paupers in their own land.

Look at this contrast -

Here in Belgium dole money is very popular. People have no qualms of being 'chômage' (unemployed) infact they thrive on it. Belgium's immigrant policies are very flexible and it provides asylum to many of the East European immigrants and how do all these people survive? The main problem is that the unemployed are entitled to the dole without limitation in time and can only lose it if they refuse too often to take jobs that the National Organisation for Employment (ONEM) proposes to them. An unemployed person in Belgium receives in average 723 euro per month (in 2005), but sometimes over 1000 euro for married people with chidlren. Through organizations like CPAS this amount can go up. Well who will work when such luxury is given on a platter! Finally they become richer in foreign lands. Rags to Riches?

Maybe this is what they call the Circle of Life - The Wheel of Fortune or whatever! So, whether you are rich or poor now doesnt matter as we dont know what the future holds. Until then let's just enjoy each Day!

"Shopoholism" - Impulsive or Compulsive?

Anything from window shopping to spending some great time at the mall with your girlfriends can be the best moments of a woman's life.

For most women, shopping can be a compulsive or mostly an impulsive decision. Compulsive is a regular - HAVE TO shopping binge, a much needed emotional counterpart, an adrenaline high and something to talk about. Impulsive shopping is when you accompany someone and have no particular reason to buy something but still pick it up for the heck of it - because it entered your line of vision.

Both types bring a smile to anyone's face as long as they are under control. There's a simple OLD saying - Excess of Anything is BAD.

Here are some easy ways to check if your shopping is bordering on the danger zone called SHOPOHOLISM.

- Spending over budget.

- Compulsive buying - the have to keep buying syndrome

- Hiding the problem as in hiding your purchases

- A vicious circle - you feel guilty about dumb purchases

- Impaired relationships - you keep fighting with your partner over the shopping

- Clear consequences - guilt, fights, low finances, etc.

Some of these might be true for most people - but if 3 or more are TRUE then Lady or Gentleman you HAVE a real Challenge! Check THIS and you can get back to some happy shopping.

Happy Ugadi Shopping - I just started mine today (and thus some realistic checks on my shopping personality). I'm safe for now - hope you are too!!!

Going Dutch - The Best Way!

I'm sure most of my generation Indians would clearly understand this 'slang' phrase. "Going Dutch is a slang term indicating that each person participating in a shared activity pays for himself or herself, rather than any one person paying for anyone else. It is also called Dutch date and Dutch Treat." - Webster's

The other day I was out for lunch with a couple of my European friends and when the "l'addition" arrived no one jumped at it and one guy calculated how much each should contribute and then it was superbly settled by everyone pitching in and sharing right to the last pence. I'm used to this by now and I like it tons. I declared that 'Going Dutch' was simply superb and gave all of us many more opportunities to meet. None of the guys understood what that phrase was and there were some Dutch and German guys in the group too. I tried to rack my brains about the meaning of the term and it's origins and prayed that I hadn't insulted anyone by using it. I promised all of them to throw more light on the ancestry of this phrase and explained that it means exactly what we did.

In Europe 'Going Dutch' is a common way of living EVEN between a husband and a wife - some feministic outlook I suppose. Almost all the times when I go out with my husband we are asked if we'd like to pay together or seperatly. That's part of the culture here. But where did that phrase originate? It's very simple its an etiquette followed in the Netherlands. During the Anglo - Dutch wars, over the centuries, the English uncovered this etiquette - vastly different from the English chivalry and thus a source of entertainment. At first it was used to ridicule people but later became a more accepted form of modern living.

In India I grew up with the more traditional form of payment method, i.e. the MAN pays it all. My husband conforms to the old world traditions in all payments and never allows me to spend a dime until its a present for him. (It's fantastic for me but unbelievable for my European friends. Most of them think I lead the life of a princess or some royalty coz my husband pays it all...) So dear friends this phrase is simply a reflection of the culture followed in most parts of northern Europe and America. The southern half of Europe is more traditional. Italy, Greece, Spain are like India where the Man or the Head of the Family pays.

Amongst the youth it's changing and they might use various phrases depending on which part of the world they are eating in : pagare alla romana, hesabı Alman usulü ödemek, pagar a la americana, a la ley de Cristo... cada quien con su pisto, TTMM - Tera Tu Mera Main (this I never heard), Kanya-Kanyang Bayad, "AA制 (AA zhì) = Going Dutch!

Restoring Identity - The Stolen Generations

The Stolen Generations is a term used to describe those children of Australian Aboriginal descent who were "removed" from their families by the Australian government or church missionaries for reasons known only to them. This "removal" occured for over 100 years between 1850s and 1970 - continuing well into the modern world.

C'est tre's Bizarre! Mais c'est Vrai! Its History and its a reality. Quite well depicted in a fictional movie - Australia. Although the movie doesnt deal with the reasons or causes or solutions to this behavior it atleast made many people aware that this is actually a reality and not just a part of the history books.

The world has seen many outrageous episodes such as Hiroshima, The Hitler mania, The Gulf war, 9/11 and the recent 26/11 which have killed thousands of people. Great tragedies! Loss of life can never be compensated. I consider this "removal" of children from their families to be on par or even more than these tragedies. Its a total loss of culture, identity, security and even if it doesnt equal the loss of life - its the loss of identities changing most into living aliens - neither here nor there! The "removed generations" are lost forever and we can't even gauge the personal loss of each family!

So have we lost some old world customs and traditions followed by generations of Aborigines? For now this seems to be an excellent political debate - who cares? Does anyone care to take measure to restore some identities?

Check out what's the latest on this issue - http://www.eniar.org/stolengenerations.html

The Amish - The Other World!

Can you imagine life without electricity or Television or Telephones. How would you feel if you didn't have a car or a bike to commute? I can imagine life w/o some of these but telephone goes beyond every nightmare.

But why do you need to think of a life like this? I just saw a program about the AMISH and realized that they are a society within a society. In America - In Philadelphia within 2 hours driving distance from the world's leading business city - New York. Yes, these people live without all these luxuries - which we have taken for granted. They lead their lives exactly as their ancestors did 300 years ago. Their dress, means of transportation (horse buggy), their customs and traditions and most important their faith in God is exactly the same as their forefathers designed.

Originally from Germany and Switzerland these people migrated to the west and are now known as the Pennsylvania Dutch folk. Their language sounds like Dutch - German. So how do they survive in this competitive world? Money- business - school - how where what? I was intrigued to find out more. Its simple they follow some basic rules:

• Farming is the primary means of income
  
• Follow the rules laid down by the forefathers to the 'T' - they survived happily so can we
  
• They send their children to their own schools till 14 years
  
• They support each other - social interaction is high on their agenda of lifestyles

GOD and Thy Neighbour will protect you throughout life! That's' the underlying secure feeling they carry!

Its Amazing how Generations together have managed to hold onto their beliefs and its no wonder that they are UN_HIT by these worldly RECESSIONS. Now that's a thought which we should dwell on! Check out this link for more details on this blissful existence -

http://www.800padutch.com/amish.shtml

Cider - my latest acquired taste!

In simple terms its apple juice - which I always liked since my childhood. Apple was/ is my favorite fruit and its not a surprise that Cider should appeal to my tastebuds.

The fundu discovery I've made recently is that fermented apple ciders become alcoholic beverages and are very popular in the western world. You get hot ciders, cold ciders, dark ciders, clear ciders, dry ciders, sweet ciders, sparkling and still ciders too. After the beer tasting mania of the last couple of years now its the cider adventure that I plan to undertake. I've noticed people toning down their alcohol intake by moving to cider drinks once per week or more. Good idea! Drinking cider is mainly thought to be a very English custom and is very popular in the UK. (Overall, the UK produces 500 million litres of cider per year source Wikipedia).

Let me tell you Hot Cider (cidre in French) can be the best drink to be had in this cold depressing weather! Right now I'm enjoying a hot chocolate brownie and dreaming of hot cider and feel that life is at its best!