Twins Mom!

Being a twins mom I haven't actually written anything much on kids or raising twins. Well my twins are Five and I think its high time I gave this a thought and get to some interesting learnings to share. The series has started...

Lets start with some general society inputs which I love - surrounding twins just my experience:  

- Ooooh "They are twins?!!" How nice...and now this has changed to real surprise as my son is actually 15cms taller at five years a head and shoulder above his sister. But still you CAN make out they are twins...Now I've heard this statement so many times that I try to pleasantly smile and say something polite. Ofcourse everytime we meet new people the statement repeats - is it a question or surprise or just happy to meet twins...I'm happy to hear it as it was definitely the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT event in my life!  

- Next "How lucky you have boy and a girl! You have finished it at one go wow and more wows!" I really dont know what I'm supposed to have finished but thanks yes I'm lucky to have the boy and the girl really and love kids and always ready to have many more. Dont be scared its my choice!  

- The next wonderful question which I trend upon "So were your twins natural?" Aww whatever... but being an Indian I really dont mind being cornered answering this even though it's  personal. Well its not a particular nation or culture asking this question almost everybody in Belgium in the hospitals too ask this as multiple conceivements in Belgium are rare. And then whatever answers I give to this no one believes and jump to conclusions and start giving fantastic advice so just smile and keep smiling!  

- Then everyone has to definitely tell me in the bus, in the hospital, in the tram in the metro about a pair of twins they know and some definite event around their memories. I'm a good listener YES thanks! But I do have "twins" hanging onto me and talking nineteen to the dozen and confusing the hell out of me and the the entire neighbourhood. Can we spare a minute for them? I'm sure many of my friends have noticed my confused expressions around such events...some have deviously enjoyed too at my expense! 
 

- The best ofcourse is " It's all done now yaar you are free they are FIVE and independent! Lucky gal...!" Hey-lo is that a joke? Everyday it gets worse more and more work and tough handling. The ultimate challenge to answer two mischievous trapping questions at the same time!

Try this for starters - Twin ONE the smart ass: "Can I eat this chocolate?" Mom says yes if you hungry just eat now (get it over with  damn)...The other one sermons - "But dad said he shouldn't eat chocolates they are bad for health and the doctor said we should stop this as much as possible, and I wonder why you are allowing him to continue eating THAT chocolate, so may I eat it too?" YES YES  I will fight the world just eat those two damn chocolates and dont lecture me!

- The toughest is when they fall ill together and the mom is dead tired. Is there a difference in siblings falling ill and twins falling ill together? Well in twins theres an emotional bond whatever type of twin and yes they DO fall ill together and the recovery is much harder as they NEED to emotionally and physically recover together. This is true 90% of the times.

 

- AND let me tell you NO ONE can prepare you for HAVING twins you are just thrown into it and then you have no choice. Another famous misconception everyone has - "SP you are great you managed very well!" Let me put this to a permanent rest - NO I DID NOT manage well - I slogged, I cried, I experimented, I had sleepless nights, I cried more, I planned, I organized, I picked the doctors brains, I carefully filled every minute to read and research, I shouted at my husband and I still shout and ask him to use ear plugs (someone needs to listen too), and more...and still trying to survive the challenge of being a twins mom!  

I'm truly blessed with friends around me who love my twins as much as they love me and we've been having a great time bringing them up together. The society is just understanding that bringing up twins is a whole new challenge and needs continuous support from everyone around. Children grow up with love and acceptance and that's the single most important thing in their lives! Lets share the love...

 

BUT dear Twins Moms gear up the WORK never ends and the FUN continues and the Patience and Energy Decreases...and that's your LIFE!

 

 

 Signing off from my mischievous duo...

 

 

What's In a Name - Part II

 

 

Well Let me beg to differ Monsieur...Life starts with a name Your name - In the western world you are named at birth and in many Asian cultures you have a "naming ceremony" but the child is born with the family name in place.

 

As we move across cultures there is a major disparity on whats a first name, last name, family name, middle name and such. Not only many names across the globe have 4-5 words we do not know what's what! Call it anything Voornaam, Achternaam, Familienaam, Naam, Prenom, Nom or simple First name, Middle Name(s) or Last Name its still confusing. It wonderful each part of the name actually has a name to it...superb and all those who are reading this would relate to a simple 'first' name and 'last' name as what comes first and last.

 

In Polite society we have prefixes like Mr., Dr., Mrs., Miss etc and the same way in French Monsieur or Madame and in Dutch Meneer or Mevrouw. Now I give you a name Dr. Grijs Phillipe. Kindly decipher this for me how do you address him? Dr. Philippe or Dr. Grijs and what is the first and what is the last name...Recently I had my most embarrassing moment in sometime when I got this wrong and the gentleman was offended. Well that's why this blog to help anyone reading...My dear friends welcome to the world of confusion. For me Phillipe sounded like the first name but I kept scratching my head on why it was written second and I got caught anyway.

 

I apologised as he was my own doctor and couldn't afford to insult him. I said across cultures this gets difficult and had to correct myself. End of story there then I did tons of research mighty google and discussed with many neighbours and reached a few key take aways which I'm sharing:

 

- " The study of names is called onomastics, a field which touches on linguistics, history, anthropology, psychology, sociology, philology and much more." Source Wiki...In Human readable language that means names have a big history they were just not made up SO NEVER assume anything about anyone's name. Kindly respect each one! Try to find out their meaning or origins people actually love to talk about these just try it out for small talk soon...

 

- RULE 1: In European and European influenced cultures like the Americas,  Africa and Oceania its more common to write the name in a common format : First name Middle name Last name.

RULE 2: Now there's something called the Eastern Order which reverses this...obviously has to clash with RULE 1 (didn't I say welcome to confusion sometime back) their format : Last Name Middle Name(s) First Name (ouch)!

To avoid confusion about why is first last and last first lets rename these and make an easy format : Family Name Middle Name(s) Given Name how's that...thats readable.  

AND please believe that many countries in Europe actually follow this. Slovekian countries, Greece, part of Germany,  Netherlands!!!

RULE 3: The Far eastern countries China, Japan, Korea and friendly neighbours all follow the European Order of writing names. Infact in Japanese they write vertically and the Family name comes first and their format is : Upper Name Middle Name(s) Given name

 

In simple words that means kindly ask new people what is the family name when they give you a card and don't commit faux pas like I did! I was on phone luckily and heard the tirade...oops yes!

 

- Then guess what some cultures\ countries said we don't care about all these and go by ONE single name called the Mononym wow smart! Well u may use the prefixes or not its upto your association with the person. If you are a friend drop the prefix if its a business acquaintance then greet with a prefix! Easy ain't it?

 

That's name formats...and in my friendly interviews and discussions in the neighbourhood and my Belgian friends I heard many say that in Belgium everyone writes RULE 2 Eastern Order format which is not true. Belgium is a true cosmopolitan city and there are settlers from various cultures generations ago moved from other places and how they write their names hasn't changed. Majority of the French and Dutch Belgians would write as in RULE 1. But the mixed cultures as in father is Greek mom is English get very confused and go by the Eastern Order at times.

 

 

 

One of my neighbours got really excited on this topic and gave me her interesting opinion. She said please understand the history of Europe we have had an interesting dominating neighbour namely United Kingdom seeking to conquer the world from generations ago centuries ago. To defy them some countries in Europe also started following Eastern Order just to spite them. Long ago the world was united and Eastern Asia was not far away we just split as you know from the geography and ofcourse some ideas and traditions are the same. Aren't many Russian and Indian names running parallel even now?

Well hats off to her bold answers she's a Professor of Sociology at Leuven university and teaches Mphil,  Phd students. I'm blessed to be her neighbour as we have such interesting discussions...

 

So finally how do we read Dr. Grijs Philippe? Ofcourse its easy call him Dr. Grijs with respect and if possible fold your hands he loves it! He's a French Belgian with some Greek origins roots four generations ago he told me a few meetings and greetings with respect later...wow and my research worked right? I shall find a minute or two to tell him he led me to new discoveries! But first impressions are really important luckily I goofed on the phone after my first few impressions so I survived.

 

When in quandary always ask! Or read the full name...that's a last option but better than goofing!

 

Have fun and hope this blog helps a few readers! Have to end with my favourite quote of all times!

Well yes we agree and we shall try to get it right too.

 

 

 

 

 You may read Part one too for more information.

(I have used my doctors name with permission told him its getting onto my blog! As ever any opinions expressed here are purely mine and not influenced by any culture and not intended to hurt anyone)

 

 

 

 

Child Labour... A Boon for India!

 

The title is bound to irritate the hell out of every social worker and some politicians and if it doesn't rile you then you are the ones benefiting from child labour! Can any of us deny having seen such a scene on the road (as in the picture)?

I'm just back from a vacation to India and was astonished to see how much this crime has infiltrated and how almost everyone turns a blind eye to it! People have just accepted it as they accept their names at birth. Most times they don't even notice it! In fact the smooth running of the society depends on child labour! If you don't agree with me then for once just open your eyes and look around. Here's a small gist of my observations when I casually looked around outside my own house...

A cup of tea early in the morning is a must for most of us but HOW do we get that milk? Reading the newspaper alongwith the tea wow the most relaxing moments of the day! How did that newspaper reach your house? Did you bother to look out or are you just happy that you got your newspaper? Thanks to the two little boys who delivered the milk and the newspaper.  Is your house neat and tidy and is the street in front of your house neat are you cooperating with the Swach Bharath drive? Well excellent good job! Lets thank the little garbage cleaners who picked up the rubbish from your house and the street side cans! So as you can see Child Labour is actually a boon to the society it helps all the daily processes run smoothly right? Yes that's absolutely right!

 

Out of concern and frustration I asked people around me how do they allow this to go on. Their answers varied from "How can we help?" or "You should ignore it" or "We have tried but no one listens." or "Kya pharak padta hai yaar"...disinterested attitudes!

 

One fine morning I woke up early and stepped out to confront the situation on my own.

 

Phase 1: Milkman/boy -

Me: Hello! How old are you? Don't you go to school? Why are you working? Children shouldn't work do you know that?

Ramu: I'm 15 years and I can work.  (He looked nothing more than 9). I distribute milk and go to school.  I have 5 siblings and I need to work. Please don't delay me with all these questions.

Phase 2: Paperboy

Me: Hello do you know you shouldn't work? How old are you?

Rahim: I'm 16 so I can work. (Now this little boy was definitely not more than 10 -11). I go to college (liar liar). I get 1000 rupees for this which I use to pay school fees and tuition fees. I need to work please let me go. Pet ka sawal hai madam padna bhi hai acha job milna hai toh kya kare...

Phase 3: Garbage collector boy

Me: Hello! What's your name? How old are you? Why are your working? Don't you want to study?

Raju: I don't know all these. My mother told me to work that's all. If I don't work then I don't get anything to eat. I don't know how old I am. (Really sorry but this little kid was pushing a tricycle full of garbage and must be around 8 years). Everyone asks me how old I am I don't know madamji I only know I have to take all these packets to that garbage man and then he gives my mother money.

Phase 4: Neighbours baby sitter

Me: Hello do you know you shouldn't work? How old are you?

Sita: I'm 16 auntie. My father passed away and my mother said we should work to survive. (This little girl would be 12-13). I have no choice I had to stop school and I'm looking after two babies from 8am to 7pm (that's 11 hrs of tiring work). I also do some household work when the babies are sleeping. (that's no rest for 11 hours).

The Scary RESULTS after my casual enquiries

- My parents did not get milk or papers for the next few days. The suppliers were rude when we called them and asked me to mind my own business.

- The garbage collecting boys did not appear for a week in our colony.

- My neighbour came to fight and asked me to keep my NRI ideas to myself and let them live with baby sitters as they are the most difficult to find.

The Outcome

- We managed to stop these four crimes and discussed with the employers about it! Should I feel guilty that I cut off money to the families? Should I feel happy that the children are not working. Surely all four kids and their families were cursing me.

- My mother promised to help all four children with their education. But still the families were not happy as what they needed is money to survive.

- My dad asked me to look around and think on a larger scale how to help them better. I pinged my friends on whatsapp and set up donations for the four kids. (I do have some fast acting bade dilwale friends).

 

It's just a step but that's what we did. I'm not sure if the families are happy yet but they will be in the long run. Stopping a social crime starts with a small step. Let's take that step even if it has many repercussions!

I'm sure this will repeat and next year when I go I will meet another Ramu, Raju, Rahim and Sita. But until then I did my bit! Can you do your bit now? If you have no paper or milk for a few days its fine just go buy from the corner shop but don't turn a blind eye to who is delivering these! If you cant get an adult baby sitter then manage on your own DO NOT encourage Child Labour!

 

The friendly neighbourhood chaiwala's nephew delivering chai chai...or the maid's daughter helping her mother clean vessels...or the provision store owner's bhatija helping deliver supplies...Can we Say NO to them? Look around and you will find more...

Child Labour is a Crime! And we are supposed to be the Educated Gen...lets prove it!

 

Note: The observations and ideas are purely the authors and not intended to hurt any sentiments of the society! The author has worked with underpriviledged children for over two decades and is a certified international counselor who specializes in parent-child therapy.
 

(Pictures courtesy India Inc.)

 

 

 

 

What's in a Name?

We moved into a new apartment recently and it took a long time for the name tags on the post box and the doorbell to be changed . Finally when we got them they looked like this:

S.Poluri and C.Jakkinapalli

It confused the hell out of me and I started to wonder how things could be so different in India and Europe. Poluri and Jakkinpalli are the last name/family name/surname but our first names just disappeared...and in India our name tags would have been P.Siva Priya or J.Chandrashekar...Are we two different persons in two continents?

And here's the story of the NAME challenge -

On the news the other day they were interviewing someone by the name "Zhimsele Ghamakulu" - my challenges :

1. How do I pronounce that? ( and I was the Accent and Communication Expert in India!!!)

2. Is this person Male or Female? (How do you know if you dont see the video?)

3. What is the first name and what is the last name? (I CANNOT afford to hurt sentiments by going wrong with that!)

It's like stepping on eggshells and trying not to make noise or hurt anyone...Names in Europe are a big mystery and HELLO you cannot TRY to pronounce them in your own language. You have to pronounce a name AS IT IS pronounced in THE language it was CREATED. That's a BLIND RULE!

Ok Let's get a few more examples to totally confuse us:

Some First name and Last name meddlers:

• Andrew Russel and Russel Peters (excuse us Mr.Peters oops sorry Mr.Russel!)
• Mark Antony and then you meet Tim Mark (Hi there Mark - who? where's the Mr.? - you have to place a Mr.with the last name didn't you know? )
• O'Neil Harvey and when I'm just getting my mouth around it I meet Joe O'Neil wow!

Now kindly DO not try to pronounce these:

• Kemar Roach
• Hanarz Krzysztof
• Krzysztof Sadowski (and I thought I found the last name ha ha)

And Please if you here you are going to meet Pascal/e please try to check the spelling in the email. I met people with the name Pascal and Pascale one of the most common names around here and both are pronounced as PAS-KEL!  

After being put through this I guess the quote from Shakespeare "What's in a name" is not true and I'd say Everything is in the NAME and you better get it right!

Inspire!

Has anyone had such an influence on you to have inspired you to achieve more in life/act differently? I'm sure everyone comes across someone like this. It's good to remember these people from time to time and check whether they are just memories or do you actually follow some of their principles.

For you to have elevated someone to that status you must have been in awe of them. And you might have respected their outlook to life. I've met a lot of people in my life and I have to say a lot again because it's really a lot...I have this general ability to simply interact with all and sundry. Amongst these people I've had the advantage to meet a few excellent individuals worth meeting in a life time. Today I'd like to mention one of them - VK 'sir' or VK.

He taught me some subjects somewhere a long long time ago. I've always had tremendous respect for the 'gurus' in my life (my parents being teachers) but what was different about this guru was that he was close to my age and talked so much sense! Well and he spoke so much sense in so much style and kept us all hanging onto his words. He was charming, brilliant and brainy. Throw in handsome and he was a deadly combination. I think I always felt studies and masti went together but he kept me in line by making me concentrate on ranks. A word from him and I used to work harder, push myself that much more and well ofcourse achieve something more(imagine he made me get some national ranks...me!)

He was the first person who told me I would be better in front of a classroom of students - teaching them - than whiling away my time in front of a comp (IT prof)! Well and look where that got me - I'm now a Behavioral consultant with some wonderful experience with the largest MNCs in the world! And the best thing about this man was he was Simple, Humble and really Down to Earth.

Just remembering him gets a smile to my face always. Sometimes when I feel too great about myself (especially after wonderful feedback from clients and trainees) I think of VK and feel humble. VK will always remain a great friend in my life whom I respect a lot!

Thanks VK. This is for you.

(The only other person who would totally understand my feeling about this is EG obviously!)

Back to Blogging

After a long break I felt that I need to get back to my blog. The break was a necessity more than sheer laziness. I really missed scribbling in all forms -blog or diary or even just a small scrap of paper. It simply wasn't possible lying down in a horizontal position.

After the birth of the twins life simply revolved around them and it took me a while to start breathing normally and get a grip on life.

Now I've got back some semblence and hope to start scribbling in earnest. My mind is bursting and my fingers are itching to type away to glory...

Let the stories begin...

Let my Country Awake...Rabindranath Tagore

Where The Mind is Without Fear

WHERE the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Rabindranath Tagore

I remembered this poem today while reading about the current state of affairs in India. It is self-explanatory, apt and very touching.

Tagore - a Great man! Great Poet well ahead of his times! Although written during the Pre-Independence era it transcends boundaries of time and place and is suitable for Independent India too! He wants our country to become a place where many wonderful qualities exist: fearlessness, knowledge, unity, truth, useful work, reason, and progress. This is a journey not a destination and needs a lot of effort.

A small step by each one of us will take us there...

Moms or Super Moms - Part II

After a "particular" chat with my friend today I felt I needed to complete this series. Sometime back I wrote about Indian moms who seem to have turned Super moms in this era. I also mentioned that I haven't noticed many instances of Super moms amongst my western friends. Let's explore some of my observations on this.

Most Indian moms go out of their way to support their kids and give them the best. They do this unselfishly with a good intention. However, most also lose their own identities and their world starts revolving around their children. The sun rises and sets on the child and they cannot look beyond that world for what 10-15 years? Once the child/children start getting independent and want to explore the world on their own the moms suddenly feel at a loss. Either they continue the molly-cuddle and suffocate the child or get depressed that they are not needed. This is true even amongst some of the career moms - especially now when the one-Child @home concept seems to be taking over.

In all this who's at a loss? 1. The mom herself who has stopped viewing life beyond her kid. 2. The husband who might have wandered away or found his own entertainment - drinks or career or friends!

A generation ago this was more relevant with the molly cuddle extending well into the 20s and 30s for men. Most men in India are still pampered by their moms blinded from reality! That's another topic... In my generation women seem to be waking up but, not as much as needed, to look beyond the child. It's difficult to cut the virtual umblical cord which seems to tie one to the child. However, some independence is absolutely necessary.

Most of my western friends have a different approach to bringing up their children. The entire attitude moves from love to indepence. They give them space and do not compromise on their own lifestyles. That's a totally different culture. Is this good or bad? Nothing is good or bad until its comparative and I'm no judge!

So moms out there wake up and take a good look at yourselves. Check if you have your life's mission chalked out? What are doing for yourself? Do you have a couple of hours for yourself? Do you read - expand your knowledge - develop your skills? Do you have any idea what you will do after your children leave the house for further studies? Yes, to all these questions then continue the great lifestyle and encourage your neighborhood moms to follow you.

I also feel that the relationship with the spouse is something which should never be compromised. Never taken for granted - never underestimated - never overlooked. Marriage is to be together for a lifetime and that's the most important relationship for any human. If Indian moms can balance these two and help their children become independent responsible citizens then the next generation of Super moms will flourish too...What say?

Say "No" to Vacations!

That's quite a statement isn't it? How can anyone say No to vacations? This has nothing to do with the economic downturn or trends - it's a very sensitive matter amongst many NRI women.

I observed this first when I moved to Belgium - that most Indian women were reluctant to go home for the annual vacations. Back then I couldn't imagine what was wrong with them but on closer observation I've discovered the reasons. Most of them still dont have a choice but keep praying that they can say No to the next vacation atleast! Sad...

This is a specific case of women who have to go on vacations to India along with their husbands. They prefer going alone with their kids for a couple of months. So what's the difference? Well simple - if they go with their husband the short vacation will be spent entirely or majorly at their in-laws place and they dont get enough time to spend with their parents! I don't need to get into the details of how restricting that can be - it's obvious.

I never realised this was a major problem until I started a little research into this topic. I gathered that this was an opinion shared by most women across the globe. Most of the ladies return from their vacations and say they are dead tired and found it too tiring, disgusting, no time to do anything and overall sick! Poor things have to work more in India on their vacations. They return and fall ill and take sometime to recover from that mental and emotional exhaustion.

It will take another generation before Indian women can stand up to what they think THEY should do...doesnt seem to be happening yet in my generation. Surprising but true - Sad Facts! So most women still shut up or try to put their ideas across and get rejected. It's an age Old story yes! I'm trying to cope with the fact that it continues well into my gen! Real Bugging!

My story is different maybe just one of those few exceptions. Simply have to thank God for that and be content! I can't change the world nor can I help all these women who want to say No...it's upto them to take the step!

Weather Report from Belgium!

Hi! Afternoon Everyone (coz there's nothing good about the afternoon- it is just a plain greeting) and welcome to today's weather report from Brussels, Belgium and I'm Maria Leaeslies! (You may pronounce that at ur own risk.)

- This morning we woke up to the signature Belgian weather and were not surprised that it continues to be DULL, DARK and ofcourse the Chronic Rain never fails to disappoint.

-By noon the DULL weather changed and it became DULLER. Finally there was some change to look forward to and TALK about during the lunch hour.

- By Afternoon the clouds over Brussels moved into Paris so NOW we can see our Hands in front of our face - although trying to VIEW your Feet can still be a Dangerous task and to be avoided.

- The sun is predicted to set by 3.30 (did it RISE?) so kindly carry torchlights when you step out. Althought the streetlights and lamps are on throughout the day sometimes you might need to cough or sneeze and need the torchlight to search for tissues in your purse.

- The night is predicted to be chilly and cold so kindly turn on the heaters from 4pm to start heating the house.

Warnings:

1. The wind is Northerly (blowing from the North Pole maybe) and at 45 to 55km/hr. EVERYONE below 50 kgs weight is requested to carry HEAVY Luggage while walking on the street. AVOID going out if possible but those of you who have to get back home from office kindly hang on to your HEALTHY neighbors for support. CHILDREN are requested to peep out from the safety of their homes and not step out.

2. As there is a constant rain with heavy WINDS there is no point in carrying UMBRELLAS. It is HAZARDOUS and might blow onto oncoming vehicles. Try to wear jackets with hoods and pray that you survive!

Thanks - with that cheery note I shall sign off and meet you in another two hours for more weather updates!

Cheery TIP before I go: Anyone who is feeling depressed contact the Disgustingly Cheerful Soul - SP in Brussels for advice and tips on life!

Moms or Super Moms? - Part 1

As a child I was terrified of my mom or rather her super-efficieny. I used to be amazed at how she managed the house, career, school, events in school, family events, my sis and ofcourse ME. Everything seemed to be sailing smoothly through my awe-struck eyes - with no worries and only thoughts of mischief in my head. Whenever I fell down she used to clean, bandage, hug, kiss and later spank me for attempting to climb the tree and jump from it (ok! good sequence)! When I was the devil-incarnate teenager, she bore that with poise and strict control and simply asked me to go to my room and continue shouting if I wanted to. Wow! Now, she's my best friend, best confidante and we behave like girl friends when we communicate! Her age and retirement have not hampered her spirits and she is extremely busy as an advisor to the top schools in India, runs her own mini-establishment, helps my sister run her life (that's quite something), looks after dad, gives me long distance advice, teaches her grandchildren ethics to live in the society and the list goes on. A simple MOM cannot really describe her and anyone who knows her would agree that she's the top of the tops Super Mom!

The next story is about my sister - I'm younger to her but always had the protective role coz she was considered an innocent lil thing. The entire family was out to protect her from God knows what I dont know - she just inspired that kind of feeling with her innocent face and outlook towards life! However, once she had kids she seemed to progress leaps and bounds from this shell and transformed into a mini-typhoon of energy and activity! She runs her hospital and clinic with strict efficiency, manages the staff, is the center of her household, keeps upgrading her educational certifications, practices her music, teaches music, is the President of her residential block, organizes events and still manages to come back home on time to meet her kids when they come back from school and stuff them with healthy food. Gosh! Listing them has made me tired I really don't know how she manages. Taking after her mom she really has some great enthusiasm to encourage her kids to participate in all extra curricular activities and she dresses them up with care for every party and helps them prepare and win almost every activity. What's this called? Sibling love or super mom? Even with an impartial eye you can't deny that she's doing her best!

Now, that's family and I might be prejudiced and blinded by love. Off late I've been observing my girl friends (Indian origin) closely and getting to understand what's happening to them after they've had kids. AND Lo Behold! What do I observe? Each one of them seems to be excelling in her role as Mom and managing a warm home without compromising on their visions/missions in life! Oooh the examples are many I can't even quote. PP and EG my close girl friends manage their own establishments with a great entrepreneurial spirit while never compromising on the quality of life of their kids. Tradition, religion, ethics, values are all taught to the kids with interest. I was amazed when PP told me her lil kids can sing most religious songs and sit with her while praying - all this even after living in the US! Great reminds me of my childhood although I forgot most songs hmm...

Observing all this my conclusion is that women seem to gain a fighting spirit and seem to want to conquer the world once they have children. There is a marked change in their psyche - everyone talks of hormonal change and physical change but overlook this major change - their Spirit! Once they want to do their best for their kids they seem to develop super natural powers! I suppose with this backdrop the word MOM may safely be replaced by SUPER MOM!

Don't you agree? All Moms are Super moms!

P.S. I haven't observed this marked change in psyche amongst my non-Indian friends and let's discuss that later.

Agitate Before Employment!

This is the kind of language that I live amongst now! Just read that and try to guage what the hell it could mean. Out of context it could mean any number of things...agreed! Now imagine reading that on a can.

Direct translations can be pathetic or derogatory at their best! I'm sick and tired of listening to the beautiful English language murdered by various nationalities in Europe. Forget their MTIs - one can live with it what's worse is their direct translations and their sentence structures. Please bear in mind that when you speak with them you BETTER speak in similar sentence structures or they will give you a BLANK DUMB look!

An amazing feature here is that everyone wants to practice their English with me when I'm trying my best to speak in French. Immediately from my accent and pace they pick up that I might know English and switch over to various forms of English! Spare me!

So my interaction in English has reduced to include some of the following interesting phrases:

Agitate before Employment - Shake Well Before Use! Well ya right!

The rain is coming - From where and why the hell I dont know!

I him tell - Oh God!

My boom- boom in the microwave - Really how interesting (she meant something exploded while cooking)

Please give me forty five - What she really means is TAKE THIS CHANGE!

I reservations No! - Ok Sorry did I say something wrong? She meant they are BUSY in the restaurant.

My leg breaking - my head breaking - my hand breaking - my stomach breaking - THis is very common and almost ALL my friends (European) use this word very frequently to mean anything and everything. Most loved word!

Do u have any ID? - U BETTER know what this is or else it can lead to tons of confusion - ID is idea and NOT an ID card. (Ide'e in French = ID in English)

I was walking and a big shower fell on me! Hee hee this is the latest I heard and I'm still reeling!

Ok More updates as and when I remember them! Have fun for now!

Namaste - the best form of greeting ? !

Being a city-bred South Indian I've never used the term Namaste to greet anyone in my entire life. I've always felt it traditional and out of sync with the current gen X,Y,Z.

I didn't realise that this word would come haunting me when I started travelling. In the past three years almost every foreigner who meets me, says Namaste, in the course of our conversation once they realise I'm an Indian. I feel good that people know this great word and wondered why we dont use it more often.

Well! How much is it used now? I've never heard anyone use it in the corporate world . As far as I know it's still used in many parts of India to greet elders and show respect in the family or society. Recently, someone asked me to explain the importance of Namaste and whether it was used often. I hope I did a decent job of saying that India is a mix of the modern and the traditional, east and the west and etc.

That's one part of the story...

Now it's come up again in the context of the H1N1 scare. Many researchers have commented that Namaste seems to be the best form of greeting to avoid the spread of the virus. The other common form of greeting - the Handshake has been asked to be placed on the shelf atleast until the pandemic reduces. The European form of greeting is almost out of vogue now and governments of various countries are trying to ban the Peck. In fact Spain has gone legal with it as they greet strangers too with a peck on both cheeks (thats as traditional as u can get).

So why Namaste and what's it? A summary:

Namaste, Namaskar or Namaskaram simply means "I bow to you." When spoken to another person, it is commonly accompanied by a slight bow made with hands pressed together, palms touching and fingers pointed upwards, in front of the chest - The Anjali Mudra.

In the simplest of terms it is accepted as a humble greeting straight from the heart and reciprocated accordingly. Happy to meet and greet.

The whole action of namaste unfolds itself at three levels: mental, physical, and verbal.

Mental submission. It recognizes the equality of all, and pays honor to the sacredness of all.

Physical. Firstly the proper performance of namaste requires that we blend the five fingers of the left hand exactly with the fingers of the right hand. The five fingers of the left hand represent the five senses of karma, and those of the right hand the five organs of knowledge. Hence it signifies that our karma or action must be in harmony, and governed by rightful knowledge, prompting us to think and act correctly.

Verbal. The sonority of the sacred sound 'namaste' is believed to have a quasi-magical value, corresponding to a creative energy change. This transformation is that of aligning oneself in harmony with the vibration of the cosmos itself

Namaste is in essence equivalent to meditation, which is the language of our spirit in conversation with god, and the perfect vehicle for bathing us in the rivers of divine pleasure.

I'm totally humbled with this research and findings and hope to respect this form of greeting more and try to use it effectively.

Hope this summary inspires a few others too.

(detailed article on http://www.exoticindiaart.com/article/namaste/)

Kopi Luwak - d Cat Poo Coffee!

Do you like coffee? Really? Well here's some news for you - the costliest cup of coffee the Kopi Luwak is made from cat Poo! It's the connoisseur's preferred taste and costs anywhere between 40 to 50 pounds per cup.

Kopi Luwak or Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet. The civets (cats) eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested.

Civets consume the red coffee cherries, when available, containing the fruit and seed, and they tend to pick the ripest and sweetest fruit. Thus there is a natural selection for the ripest coffee beans. The inner bean of the berry is not digested, but a unique combination of enzymes in the stomach of the civet add to the coffee's flavor by breaking down the proteins that give coffee its bitter taste. The beans are defacted, still covered in some inner layers of the berry. The beans are washed, and given only a light roast so as to not destroy the complex flavors that develop through the process. Light roasting is considered particularly desirable in coffees that do not exhibit bitterness, and the most pronounced characteristic of Kopi Luwak is a marked reduction in bitterness. - Source Wiki and Rick Stein's Research.

The first time I heard of this was on a Rick Stein's show. He explored the process right from feeding the slightly aggressive civet, to waiting for the defacation and checking on the roasting. Being the true gentleman he tried not to make any face when asked to taste the fresh coffee. He closed his eyes and commented that it was the most exquisite cuppa coffee he had ever tasted and I take his word for it!

Is the coffee entirely safe? Devoid of bacteria? Yes it is and all u connoisseurs close ur eyes and enjoy the explicit taste!

Unfortunately (or fortunately)I'm not into coffee so I'll jst give this one a miss.

Burquini - C'est Quoi?

Wow what a word! It's hilarious and outrageous at the same time.

For those ignorant - The Burquini is a hybrid designed by Australian designer Ahead Zanetti. A cross between a burqa and the much smaller bikini, it's essentially pants with a long-sleeved A-line tunic (thigh or knee-length) complete with a head covering. Designed for muslim women. It's also very pleasing to the eye.

I question the designer's mental state and the customer's stability! On a serious note here are the pointers laid down for a Muslim Women's Dress code the Hijab:

1. Clothing must cover the entire body, only the hands and face may remain visible (According to some Fiqh Schools).
2. The material must not be so thin that one can see through it.
3. The clothing must hang loose so that the shape of the body is not apparent.
4. The female clothing must not resemble the man's clothing.
5. The design of the clothing must not resemble the clothing of the non-believing women.
6. The design must not consist of bold designs which attract attention.
7. Clothing should not be worn for the sole purpose of gaining reputation or increasing one's status in society.

Allah has stated in the Quran that women must guard their modesty. " Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty ; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof. " [Quran : 24.31]

This is what is proposed and followed by most Muslim women. So, I wonder Why Zanetti ever came up with the idea of a Burquini when the very word Bikini raises testerone levels in Men. The situation gets crazier with some women claiming to follow the religion actually sport this at beaches and swimming pools.

No wonder some countries who are trying to ban the Burqua completly based on "laicite" (secularim) and rights of individuals are confused whether Muslim women are in favour of this Ban or Not as some of them wear Burquinis AND Burquas! - Like the famous confused Sarkozy!

Poor confused souls I must say! I feel we should first decide on the ban of Burquinis and then talk of the burqua.

(Note: These are quotes from reputed newspapers and the Quran. I put it together purely as a thought and reflection! )

D Half Blood Prince - let's review!

I know this is very late and the internet is buzzing with tons of reviews from all and sundry ranging from horrible to the best film ever made. However this review is different coz I'm trying to view it practically being a die hard fan.

For first time viewers (like Viv who went nuts)

Whats In- The picturisation, the special effects, the sound effects and the unknown suspense and ofcourse the romantic twist in this new movie.

Whats Not - Obviously they wont understand a damn thing ni the story ni the subtle humor ni the relationships! They would think the world has gone mad watching such a baseless movie.

For the Middle Path Viewers (like my husband who knows some and wants to watch it for the heck of it)

Whats In - The thrill that they have watched all the movies and can compare them, the special effects which seem to improve with each movie and the new romantic humor included in this movie.

Whats Not - NO Lord Voldermot such a disappointment, what the hell is happening and why isnt there any connection, less drama than the Sorceror's Stone and boring.

For Die Hard Fans (like me)

Whats In - The wonder of translation, amazing capture of the reaching the fake Horcrux, watching the child Voldermot and his expressions, the thrill of knowing the connections in each movie and book and last but not the least the grown up protagonists!

Whats Not - Missing out on parts of the book (practically impossible to capture the entire book I guess although disappointing), changing the END (Harry was standing idle while Dumbledore was killed), actually witnessing Dumbledore's death (that was heart breaking) and the actual play down of the title - where's the grasp of who's the Half Blood Prince and why is it important?

I guess overall it's worth watching once or twice. I dont' think I'd watch it more than that and that says quite a lot!

(P.S. I thought Hermoine looked real cute in this movie no wonder my teen - nephews are great fans!)

Radio City Hyderabad AND Me!

Radio City is almost like a lifeline for me like the 911 or emergencey numbers - it gives me a great sense of security!

It's on throughout the time I'm at home and I feel absolutely thrilled to hear the Time Check, news on the Traffic Jams, the weather and the lil tidbits of news I get about Hyderabad. I feel as I'm back home and commuting to work listening to the radio in the car. Great connection!


Sometimes when I speak with mom I keep telling her news about Hyd and she's gets surprised that I'm so up-to-date! Thanks to Radio City!


Apart from the lifeline it provides, it's great FUN too living upto its slogan - Whatte Fun! In the recent past I loved the Navvula Don and the silly jokes and narrations. There aren't too many stupid ads like some other channels and its got a good balance of programs. The DJs of this channel are mature and highly energetic keeping the audience on their toes, interested.


To top it all this channel has my best friend as a prominent DJ! The world famous Anna the one and only Vamsee Anna (only for the guys!) Ha ha!


(P.S. - Dear Vamsee this blog-post is dedicated to u! I might write more soon...)

Googling...

Don't know if this has become an official word in the Oxford dictionary but I'm sure everyone uses it.

Just an example on how addicted I've become to Googling...One HOT (warm) Sunday afternoon when I was bored I started googling on things to do when you are BORED! Oh God! And that got me thinking that I've become a real pathetic addict to the net. It just kind of follows me everywhere....

God knows how I manged to survive before the internet but it sure seems difficult now even for 10 minutes! Connected to it 24 hours...if my laptop and my mobile could speak probably they would abuse me for no holidays!

What about you'll do you feel the same?

A Size Zero Namita!

After mentioning her in my previous blogpost I simply had to comment on this article!

I'm sure the news that Namita is going to the gym, probably to compete with Kareena Kapoor's size Zero image, must be shocking most of her fans. She's considered one of the hottest belles of the South Indian film industry (for the unfortunate ignorant lot!).

I saw this lady in Paris in 2006 and I have to say that she was really quite something - charming. Bumped into her in the Christian Dior showroom on Champs Elysees. She was wearing a cute lil mini frock and was quite a stunning picture in that dainty shop. She had some insignificant guys around her and was clinging onto one of them but as I said they were all insignificant. She bought a crate of perfumes, charmed the salesmen and walked down the famous road to her parked limousine. It was almost as if a path had opened up for her on the road - royal treatment on the busy road. People just stopped walking and kept staring - I suppose there's some air about these film stars which is really captivating.

I've met many film stars since my childhood but I've never seen this kind of appreciation on foreign streets! I need not say what my hubs reaction was - spellbound - I remember he called his best friend B in India right away to convey the news.

She wasn't the Namita of the Billa kinds - back then she was quite slimmer and prettier. Well, I'm sure the gymming will help her get meatier meaningful roles than the cheapster roles she's been getting into!

All the best to her!

The Media Overdose!

Everyone nowadays seems to be complaining about the Media and the exaggerated information that is conveyed regularly by them.

Look at it within the backdrop of the economic recession and every Tom, Dick and Jane (sorry Harry got lost) starting new media ventures. What will they do? They have to repeat every damn newstelecast and invent or create news.

I read about Monsieur Gaston Leroux of the Phantom of The Opera fame who created an entire civil war story during the pre-WWI era. He had overslept through a station that he had to get off at and invented a whole new story of the military's deception in that country. He sent it to the UK and US creating discord and changing history once and for all for an X country.

So inventing and exaggeration has been in existence for almost a century now. We poor unfortunate readers sometimes simply get carried away with all this.

For instance my homepage is AOL and I keep getting harassed by completly unnecessary pieces of information ranging from Michelle Obama's undergarments brands to President Kgalema Motlanthe's rapist tribal backgroud to Namita going to the gym! Yes, I would die without these pieces of information - thanks very much!

The worst info I read recently which brought on this media tirade was the Air France crash - Ok fine all of us know there's been an accident, we've sympathised with the victims, I've shed many tears prayed for their souls and Im at peace now - but the media didnt want to leave me alone! I had to be harassed with information on how the jet blew up in the air and why the recovered bodies had multiple fractures and the technical details and pictures and diagrams explaining it.

I have a choice to close my eyes but unfortunately once you are educated words just jump at you and your mind automatically reads them even if you DON'T want to!

If anyone finds a solution to this kindly let me know...

(P.S. Anu - nothing to do with u or ur style of writing - just a general observation - I'm sure u'll agree with me!)