Je pense

Inspire!

2011-02-23T13:11:00.000-08:00

Has anyone had such an influence on you to have inspired you to achieve more in life/act differently? I'm sure everyone comes across someone like this. It's good to remember these people from time to time and check whether they are just memories or do you actually follow some of their principles.

For you to have elevated someone to that status you must have been in awe of them. And you might have respected their outlook to life. I've met a lot of people in my life and I have to say a lot again because it's really a lot...I have this general ability to simply interact with all and sundry. Amongst these people I've had the advantage to meet a few excellent individuals worth meeting in a life time. Today I'd like to mention one of them - VK 'sir' or VK.

He taught me some subjects somewhere a long long time ago. I've always had tremendous respect for the 'gurus' in my life (my parents being teachers) but what was different about this guru was that he was close to my age and talked so much sense! Well and he spoke so much sense in so much style and kept us all hanging onto his words. He was charming, brilliant and brainy. Throw in handsome and he was a deadly combination. I think I always felt studies and masti went together but he kept me in line by making me concentrate on ranks. A word from him and I used to work harder, push myself that much more and well ofcourse achieve something more(imagine he made me get some national ranks...me!)

He was the first person who told me I would be better in front of a classroom of students - teaching them - than whiling away my time in front of a comp (IT prof)! Well and look where that got me - I'm now a Behavioral consultant with some wonderful experience with the largest MNCs in the world! And the best thing about this man was he was Simple, Humble and really Down to Earth.

Just remembering him gets a smile to my face always. Sometimes when I feel too great about myself (especially after wonderful feedback from clients and trainees) I think of VK and feel humble. VK will always remain a great friend in my life whom I respect a lot!

Thanks VK. This is for you.

(The only other person who would totally understand my feeling about this is EG obviously!)

Back to Blogging

2010-09-20T06:09:00.000-07:00

After a long break I felt that I need to get back to my blog. The break was a necessity more than sheer laziness. I really missed scribbling in all forms -blog or diary or even just a small scrap of paper. It simply wasn't possible lying down in a horizontal position.

After the birth of the twins life simply revolved around them and it took me a while to start breathing normally and get a grip on life.

Now I've got back some semblence and hope to start scribbling in earnest. My mind is bursting and my fingers are itching to type away to glory...

Let the stories begin...

Let my Country Awake...Rabindranath Tagore

2009-12-10T14:25:00.000-08:00

Where The Mind is Without Fear

WHERE the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Rabindranath Tagore

I remembered this poem today while reading about the current state of affairs in India. It is self-explanatory, apt and very touching.

Tagore - a Great man! Great Poet well ahead of his times! Although written during the Pre-Independence era it transcends boundaries of time and place and is suitable for Independent India too! He wants our country to become a place where many wonderful qualities exist: fearlessness, knowledge, unity, truth, useful work, reason, and progress. This is a journey not a destination and needs a lot of effort.

A small step by each one of us will take us there...

Moms or Super Moms - Part II

2009-11-26T08:59:00.000-08:00

After a "particular" chat with my friend today I felt I needed to complete this series. Sometime back I wrote about Indian moms who seem to have turned Super moms in this era. I also mentioned that I haven't noticed many instances of Super moms amongst my western friends. Let's explore some of my observations on this.

Most Indian moms go out of their way to support their kids and give them the best. They do this unselfishly with a good intention. However, most also lose their own identities and their world starts revolving around their children. The sun rises and sets on the child and they cannot look beyond that world for what 10-15 years? Once the child/children start getting independent and want to explore the world on their own the moms suddenly feel at a loss. Either they continue the molly-cuddle and suffocate the child or get depressed that they are not needed. This is true even amongst some of the career moms - especially now when the one-Child @home concept seems to be taking over.

In all this who's at a loss? 1. The mom herself who has stopped viewing life beyond her kid. 2. The husband who might have wandered away or found his own entertainment - drinks or career or friends!

A generation ago this was more relevant with the molly cuddle extending well into the 20s and 30s for men. Most men in India are still pampered by their moms blinded from reality! That's another topic... In my generation women seem to be waking up but, not as much as needed, to look beyond the child. It's difficult to cut the virtual umblical cord which seems to tie one to the child. However, some independence is absolutely necessary.

Most of my western friends have a different approach to bringing up their children. The entire attitude moves from love to indepence. They give them space and do not compromise on their own lifestyles. That's a totally different culture. Is this good or bad? Nothing is good or bad until its comparative and I'm no judge!

So moms out there wake up and take a good look at yourselves. Check if you have your life's mission chalked out? What are doing for yourself? Do you have a couple of hours for yourself? Do you read - expand your knowledge - develop your skills? Do you have any idea what you will do after your children leave the house for further studies? Yes, to all these questions then continue the great lifestyle and encourage your neighborhood moms to follow you.

I also feel that the relationship with the spouse is something which should never be compromised. Never taken for granted - never underestimated - never overlooked. Marriage is to be together for a lifetime and that's the most important relationship for any human. If Indian moms can balance these two and help their children become independent responsible citizens then the next generation of Super moms will flourish too...What say?

Say "No" to Vacations!

2009-11-19T09:29:00.000-08:00

That's quite a statement isn't it? How can anyone say No to vacations? This has nothing to do with the economic downturn or trends - it's a very sensitive matter amongst many NRI women.

I observed this first when I moved to Belgium - that most Indian women were reluctant to go home for the annual vacations. Back then I couldn't imagine what was wrong with them but on closer observation I've discovered the reasons. Most of them still dont have a choice but keep praying that they can say No to the next vacation atleast! Sad...

This is a specific case of women who have to go on vacations to India along with their husbands. They prefer going alone with their kids for a couple of months. So what's the difference? Well simple - if they go with their husband the short vacation will be spent entirely or majorly at their in-laws place and they dont get enough time to spend with their parents! I don't need to get into the details of how restricting that can be - it's obvious.

I never realised this was a major problem until I started a little research into this topic. I gathered that this was an opinion shared by most women across the globe. Most of the ladies return from their vacations and say they are dead tired and found it too tiring, disgusting, no time to do anything and overall sick! Poor things have to work more in India on their vacations. They return and fall ill and take sometime to recover from that mental and emotional exhaustion.

It will take another generation before Indian women can stand up to what they think THEY should do...doesnt seem to be happening yet in my generation. Surprising but true - Sad Facts! So most women still shut up or try to put their ideas across and get rejected. It's an age Old story yes! I'm trying to cope with the fact that it continues well into my gen! Real Bugging!

My story is different maybe just one of those few exceptions. Simply have to thank God for that and be content! I can't change the world nor can I help all these women who want to say No...it's upto them to take the step!

Weather Report from Belgium!

2009-11-15T10:37:00.001-08:00

Hi! Afternoon Everyone (coz there's nothing good about the afternoon- it is just a plain greeting) and welcome to today's weather report from Brussels, Belgium and I'm Maria Leaeslies! (You may pronounce that at ur own risk.)

- This morning we woke up to the signature Belgian weather and were not surprised that it continues to be DULL, DARK and ofcourse the Chronic Rain never fails to disappoint.

-By noon the DULL weather changed and it became DULLER. Finally there was some change to look forward to and TALK about during the lunch hour.

- By Afternoon the clouds over Brussels moved into Paris so NOW we can see our Hands in front of our face - although trying to VIEW your Feet can still be a Dangerous task and to be avoided.

- The sun is predicted to set by 3.30 (did it RISE?) so kindly carry torchlights when you step out. Althought the streetlights and lamps are on throughout the day sometimes you might need to cough or sneeze and need the torchlight to search for tissues in your purse.

- The night is predicted to be chilly and cold so kindly turn on the heaters from 4pm to start heating the house.

Warnings:

1. The wind is Northerly (blowing from the North Pole maybe) and at 45 to 55km/hr. EVERYONE below 50 kgs weight is requested to carry HEAVY Luggage while walking on the street. AVOID going out if possible but those of you who have to get back home from office kindly hang on to your HEALTHY neighbors for support. CHILDREN are requested to peer out from the safety of their homes and not step out.

2. As there is a constant rain with heavy WINDS there is no point in carrying UMBRELLAS. It is HAZARDOUS and might blow onto oncoming vehicles. Try to wear jackets with hoods and pray that you survive!

Thanks - with that cheery note I shall sign off and meet you in another two hours for more weather updates!

Cheery TIP before I go: Anyone who is feeling depressed contact the Disgustingly Cheerful Soul - SP in Brussels for advice and tips on life!

Moms or Super Moms? - Part 1

2009-11-07T09:02:00.000-08:00

As a child I was terrified of my mom or rather her super-efficieny. I used to be amazed at how she managed the house, career, school, events in school, family events, my sis and ofcourse ME. Everything seemed to be sailing smoothly through my awe-struck eyes - with no worries and only thoughts of mischief in my head. Whenever I fell down she used to clean, bandage, hug, kiss and later spank me for attempting to climb the tree and jump from it (ok! good sequence)! When I was the devil-incarnate teenager, she bore that with poise and strict control and simply asked me to go to my room and continue shouting if I wanted to. Wow! Now, she's my best friend, best confidante and we behave like girl friends when we communicate! Her age and retirement have not hampered her spirits and she is extremely busy as an advisor to the top schools in India, runs her own mini-establishment, helps my sister run her life (that's quite something), looks after dad, gives me long distance advice, teaches her grandchildren ethics to live in the society and the list goes on. A simple MOM cannot really describe her and anyone who knows her would agree that she's the top of the tops Super Mom!

The next story is about my sister - I'm younger to her but always had the protective role coz she was considered an innocent lil thing. The entire family was out to protect her from God knows what I dont know - she just inspired that kind of feeling with her innocent face and outlook towards life! However, once she had kids she seemed to progress leaps and bounds from this shell and transformed into a mini-typhoon of energy and activity! She runs her hospital and clinic with strict efficiency, manages the staff, is the center of her household, keeps upgrading her educational certifications, practices her music, teaches music, is the President of her residential block, organizes events and still manages to come back home on time to meet her kids when they come back from school and stuff them with healthy food. Gosh! Listing them has made me tired I really don't know how she manages. Taking after her mom she really has some great enthusiasm to encourage her kids to participate in all extra curricular activities and she dresses them up with care for every party and helps them prepare and win almost every activity. What's this called? Sibling love or super mom? Even with an impartial eye you can't deny that she's doing her best!

Now, that's family and I might be prejudiced and blinded by love. Off late I've been observing my girl friends (Indian origin) closely and getting to understand what's happening to them after they've had kids. AND Lo Behold! What do I observe? Each one of them seems to be excelling in her role as Mom and managing a warm home without compromising on their visions/missions in life! Oooh the examples are many I can't even quote. PP and EG my close girl friends manage their own establishments with a great entrepreneurial spirit while never compromising on the quality of life of their kids. Tradition, religion, ethics, values are all taught to the kids with interest. I was amazed when PP told me her lil kids can sing most religious songs and sit with her while praying - all this even after living in the US! Great reminds me of my childhood although I forgot most songs hmm...

Observing all this my conclusion is that women seem to gain a fighting spirit and seem to want to conquer the world once they have children. There is a marked change in their psyche - everyone talks of hormonal change and physical change but overlook this major change - their Spirit! Once they want to do their best for their kids they seem to develop super natural powers! I suppose with this backdrop the word MOM may safely be replaced by SUPER MOM!

Don't you agree? All Moms are Super moms!

P.S. I haven't observed this marked change in psyche amongst my non-Indian friends and let's discuss that later.

Agitate Before Employment!

2009-10-25T11:07:00.000-07:00

This is the kind of language that I live amongst now! Just read that and try to guage what the hell it could mean. Out of context it could mean any number of things...agreed! Now imagine reading that on a can.

Direct translations can be pathetic or derogatory at their best! I'm sick and tired of listening to the beautiful English language murdered by various nationalities in Europe. Forget their MTIs - one can live with it what's worse is their direct translations and their sentence structures. Please bear in mind that when you speak with them you BETTER speak in similar sentence structures or they will give you a BLANK DUMB look!

An amazing feature here is that everyone wants to practice their English with me when I'm trying my best to speak in French. Immediately from my accent and pace they pick up that I might know English and switch over to various forms of English! Spare me!

So my interaction in English has reduced to include some of the following interesting phrases:

Agitate before Employment - Shake Well Before Use! Well ya right!

The rain is coming - From where and why the hell I dont know!

I him tell - Oh God!

My boom- boom in the microwave - Really how interesting (she meant something exploded while cooking)

Please give me forty five - What she really means is TAKE THIS CHANGE!

I reservations No! - Ok Sorry did I say something wrong? She meant they are BUSY in the restaurant.

My leg breaking - my head breaking - my hand breaking - my stomach breaking - THis is very common and almost ALL my friends (European) use this word very frequently to mean anything and everything. Most loved word!

Do u have any ID? - U BETTER know what this is or else it can lead to tons of confusion - ID is idea and NOT an ID card. (Ide'e in French = ID in English)

I was walking and a big shower fell on me! Hee hee this is the latest I heard and I'm still reeling!

Ok More updates as and when I remember them! Have fun for now!

Namaste - the best form of greeting ? !

2009-08-24T10:30:00.000-07:00

Being a city-bred South Indian I've never used the term Namaste to greet anyone in my entire life. I've always felt it traditional and out of sync with the current gen X,Y,Z.

I didn't realise that this word would come haunting me when I started travelling. In the past three years almost every foreigner who meets me, says Namaste, in the course of our conversation once they realise I'm an Indian. I feel good that people know this great word and wondered why we dont use it more often.

Well! How much is it used now? I've never heard anyone use it in the corporate world . As far as I know it's still used in many parts of India to greet elders and show respect in the family or society. Recently, someone asked me to explain the importance of Namaste and whether it was used often. I hope I did a decent job of saying that India is a mix of the modern and the traditional, east and the west and etc.

That's one part of the story...

Now it's come up again in the context of the H1N1 scare. Many researchers have commented that Namaste seems to be the best form of greeting to avoid the spread of the virus. The other common form of greeting - the Handshake has been asked to be placed on the shelf atleast until the pandemic reduces. The European form of greeting is almost out of vogue now and governments of various countries are trying to ban the Peck. In fact Spain has gone legal with it as they greet strangers too with a peck on both cheeks (thats as traditional as u can get).

So why Namaste and what's it? A summary:

Namaste, Namaskar or Namaskaram simply means "I bow to you." When spoken to another person, it is commonly accompanied by a slight bow made with hands pressed together, palms touching and fingers pointed upwards, in front of the chest - The Anjali Mudra.

In the simplest of terms it is accepted as a humble greeting straight from the heart and reciprocated accordingly. Happy to meet and greet.

The whole action of namaste unfolds itself at three levels: mental, physical, and verbal.

Mental submission. It recognizes the equality of all, and pays honor to the sacredness of all.

Physical. Firstly the proper performance of namaste requires that we blend the five fingers of the left hand exactly with the fingers of the right hand. The five fingers of the left hand represent the five senses of karma, and those of the right hand the five organs of knowledge. Hence it signifies that our karma or action must be in harmony, and governed by rightful knowledge, prompting us to think and act correctly.

Verbal. The sonority of the sacred sound 'namaste' is believed to have a quasi-magical value, corresponding to a creative energy change. This transformation is that of aligning oneself in harmony with the vibration of the cosmos itself

Namaste is in essence equivalent to meditation, which is the language of our spirit in conversation with god, and the perfect vehicle for bathing us in the rivers of divine pleasure.

I'm totally humbled with this research and findings and hope to respect this form of greeting more and try to use it effectively.

Hope this summary inspires a few others too.

(detailed article on http://www.exoticindiaart.com/article/namaste/)

Kopi Luwak - d Cat Poo Coffee!

2009-08-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

Do you like coffee? Really? Well here's some news for you - the costliest cup of coffee the Kopi Luwak is made from cat Poo! It's the connoisseur's preferred taste and costs anywhere between 40 to 50 pounds per cup.

Kopi Luwak or Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet. The civets (cats) eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested.

Civets consume the red coffee cherries, when available, containing the fruit and seed, and they tend to pick the ripest and sweetest fruit. Thus there is a natural selection for the ripest coffee beans. The inner bean of the berry is not digested, but a unique combination of enzymes in the stomach of the civet add to the coffee's flavor by breaking down the proteins that give coffee its bitter taste. The beans are defacted, still covered in some inner layers of the berry. The beans are washed, and given only a light roast so as to not destroy the complex flavors that develop through the process. Light roasting is considered particularly desirable in coffees that do not exhibit bitterness, and the most pronounced characteristic of Kopi Luwak is a marked reduction in bitterness. - Source Wiki and Rick Stein's Research.

The first time I heard of this was on a Rick Stein's show. He explored the process right from feeding the slightly aggressive civet, to waiting for the defacation and checking on the roasting. Being the true gentleman he tried not to make any face when asked to taste the fresh coffee. He closed his eyes and commented that it was the most exquisite cuppa coffee he had ever tasted and I take his word for it!

Is the coffee entirely safe? Devoid of bacteria? Yes it is and all u connoisseurs close ur eyes and enjoy the explicit taste!

Unfortunately (or fortunately)I'm not into coffee so I'll jst give this one a miss.

Burquini - C'est Quoi?

2009-08-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

Wow what a word! It's hilarious and outrageous at the same time.

For those ignorant - The Burquini is a hybrid designed by Australian designer Ahead Zanetti. A cross between a burqa and the much smaller bikini, it's essentially pants with a long-sleeved A-line tunic (thigh or knee-length) complete with a head covering. Designed for muslim women. It's also very pleasing to the eye.

I question the designer's mental state and the customer's stability! On a serious note here are the pointers laid down for a Muslim Women's Dress code the Hijab:

1. Clothing must cover the entire body, only the hands and face may remain visible (According to some Fiqh Schools).
2. The material must not be so thin that one can see through it.
3. The clothing must hang loose so that the shape of the body is not apparent.
4. The female clothing must not resemble the man's clothing.
5. The design of the clothing must not resemble the clothing of the non-believing women.
6. The design must not consist of bold designs which attract attention.
7. Clothing should not be worn for the sole purpose of gaining reputation or increasing one's status in society.

Allah has stated in the Quran that women must guard their modesty. " Say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty ; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof. " [Quran : 24.31]

This is what is proposed and followed by most Muslim women. So, I wonder Why Zanetti ever came up with the idea of a Burquini when the very word Bikini raises testerone levels in Men. The situation gets crazier with some women claiming to follow the religion actually sport this at beaches and swimming pools.

No wonder some countries who are trying to ban the Burqua completly based on "laicite" (secularim) and rights of individuals are confused whether Muslim women are in favour of this Ban or Not as some of them wear Burquinis AND Burquas! - Like the famous confused Sarkozy!

Poor confused souls I must say! I feel we should first decide on the ban of Burquinis and then talk of the burqua.

(Note: These are quotes from reputed newspapers and the Quran. I put it together purely as a thought and reflection! )

D Half Blood Prince - let's review!

2009-08-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

I know this is very late and the internet is buzzing with tons of reviews from all and sundry ranging from horrible to the best film ever made. However this review is different coz I'm trying to view it practically being a die hard fan.

For first time viewers (like Viv who went nuts)

Whats In- The picturisation, the special effects, the sound effects and the unknown suspense and ofcourse the romantic twist in this new movie.

Whats Not - Obviously they wont understand a damn thing ni the story ni the subtle humor ni the relationships! They would think the world has gone mad watching such a baseless movie.

For the Middle Path Viewers (like my husband who knows some and wants to watch it for the heck of it)

Whats In - The thrill that they have watched all the movies and can compare them, the special effects which seem to improve with each movie and the new romantic humor included in this movie.

Whats Not - NO Lord Voldermot such a disappointment, what the hell is happening and why isnt there any connection, less drama than the Sorceror's Stone and boring.

For Die Hard Fans (like me)

Whats In - The wonder of translation, amazing capture of the reaching the fake Horcrux, watching the child Voldermot and his expressions, the thrill of knowing the connections in each movie and book and last but not the least the grown up protagonists!

Whats Not - Missing out on parts of the book (practically impossible to capture the entire book I guess although disappointing), changing the END (Harry was standing idle while Dumbledore was killed), actually witnessing Dumbledore's death (that was heart breaking) and the actual play down of the title - where's the grasp of who's the Half Blood Prince and why is it important?

I guess overall it's worth watching once or twice. I dont' think I'd watch it more than that and that says quite a lot!

(P.S. I thought Hermoine looked real cute in this movie no wonder my teen - nephews are great fans!)

Radio City Hyderabad AND Me!

2009-06-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

Radio City is almost like a lifeline for me like the 911 or emergencey numbers - it gives me a great sense of security!

It's on throughout the time I'm at home and I feel absolutely thrilled to hear the Time Check, news on the Traffic Jams, the weather and the lil tidbits of news I get about Hyderabad. I feel as I'm back home and commuting to work listening to the radio in the car. Great connection!

Sometimes when I speak with mom I keep telling her news about Hyd and she's gets surprised that I'm so up-to-date! Thanks to Radio City!

Apart from the lifeline it provides, it's great FUN too living upto its slogan - Whatte Fun! In the recent past I loved the Navvula Don and the silly jokes and narrations. There aren't too many stupid ads like some other channels and its got a good balance of programs. The DJs of this channel are mature and highly energetic keeping the audience on their toes, interested.

To top it all this channel has my best friend as a prominent DJ! The world famous Anna the one and only Vamsee Anna (only for the guys!) Ha ha!

(P.S. - Dear Vamsee this blog-post is dedicated to u! I might write more soon...)

Googling...

2009-06-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

Don't know if this has become an official word in the Oxford dictionary but I'm sure everyone uses it.

Just an example on how addicted I've become to Googling...One HOT (warm) Sunday afternoon when I was bored I started googling on things to do when you are BORED! Oh God! And that got me thinking that I've become a real pathetic addict to the net. It just kind of follows me everywhere....

God knows how I manged to survive before the internet but it sure seems difficult now even for 10 minutes! Connected to it 24 hours...if my laptop and my mobile could speak probably they would abuse me for no holidays!

What about you'll do you feel the same?

A Size Zero Namita!

2009-06-25T00:17:00.001-07:00

After mentioning her in my previous blogpost I simply had to comment on this article!

I'm sure the news that Namita is going to the gym, probably to compete with Kareena Kapoor's size Zero image, must be shocking most of her fans. She's considered one of the hottest belles of the South Indian film industry (for the unfortunate ignorant lot!).

I saw this lady in Paris in 2006 and I have to say that she was really quite something - charming. Bumped into her in the Christian Dior showroom on Champs Elysees. She was wearing a cute lil mini frock and was quite a stunning picture in that dainty shop. She had some insignificant guys around her and was clinging onto one of them but as I said they were all insignificant. She bought a crate of perfumes, charmed the salesmen and walked down the famous road to her parked limousine. It was almost as if a path had opened up for her on the road - royal treatment on the busy road. People just stopped walking and kept staring - I suppose there's some air about these film stars which is really captivating.

I've met many film stars since my childhood but I've never seen this kind of appreciation on foreign streets! I need not say what my hubs reaction was - spellbound - I remember he called his best friend B in India right away to convey the news.

She wasn't the Namita of the Billa kinds - back then she was quite slimmer and prettier. Well, I'm sure the gymming will help her get meatier meaningful roles than the cheapster roles she's been getting into!

All the best to her!

The Media Overdose!

2009-06-24T23:57:00.000-07:00

Everyone nowadays seems to be complaining about the Media and the exaggerated information that is conveyed regularly by them.

Look at it within the backdrop of the economic recession and every Tom, Dick and Jane (sorry Harry got lost) starting new media ventures. What will they do? They have to repeat every damn newstelecast and invent or create news.

I read about Monsieur Gaston Leroux of the Phantom of The Opera fame who created an entire civil war story during the pre-WWI era. He had overslept through a station that he had to get off at and invented a whole new story of the military's deception in that country. He sent it to the UK and US creating discord and changing history once and for all for an X country.

So inventing and exaggeration has been in existence for almost a century now. We poor unfortunate readers sometimes simply get carried away with all this.

For instance my homepage is AOL and I keep getting harassed by completly unnecessary pieces of information ranging from Michelle Obama's undergarments brands to President Kgalema Motlanthe's rapist tribal backgroud to Namita going to the gym! Yes, I would die without these pieces of information - thanks very much!

The worst info I read recently which brought on this media tirade was the Air France crash - Ok fine all of us know there's been an accident, we've sympathised with the victims, I've shed many tears prayed for their souls and Im at peace now - but the media didnt want to leave me alone! I had to be harassed with information on how the jet blew up in the air and why the recovered bodies had multiple fractures and the technical details and pictures and diagrams explaining it.

I have a choice to close my eyes but unfortunately once you are educated words just jump at you and your mind automatically reads them even if you DON'T want to!

If anyone finds a solution to this kindly let me know...

(P.S. Anu - nothing to do with u or ur style of writing - just a general observation - I'm sure u'll agree with me!)

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous!

2009-06-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

From the Sublime to the Ridiculous is the way to sum up the world - the wheel of fortune and the lifecycle ...No! I'm not getting philosophical it's just a thought.

My writing seems to have gone through one of those cycles reaching the peak (number of posts) in April to the lows over the past 2 months. Rather from the Zenith to the Abyss! I think I jump through extremes without any middle paths must be something to do with being born in June (Cancerian).

I think I'm getting back to some sensible/insensible/creative/ funny any and all types of writing. How do I know this? It happens when I start dreaming of words and topics, when ideas keep flitting across my brain at all odd times and places. I've started carrying a notepad in my handbag for the odd scribbles and it gives me my own mean pleasure!

Ok let's just read on and write on...

Our friendly Neighbourhood!

2009-04-29T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm talking of India and the friendly neighbourhood it finds itself in right now. It's extremely worrying and the sudden interest the US has had trying to turn Indian into an ally says it all!

Between the Taliban neighbour and the LTTE clashes India seems to be between the devil and the deep sea on quite the literal basis. One can't miss out on the Bangladeshi and Tibetian protests over some piece of land which belonged to them in 500 BC! None of the internal situations in each neighbouring country stops their folk from immigrating lock stock and barrel legal or illegally into India!

I always felt that the Indian govt. and the total Indian attitude to such situations has been kind of laid back. I've never seen an aggressive stance on any issue. It's either the dead bat approach or the cat which closed its eyes approach. This is a sure shot method to promote insurgency.

The situation is outright scary in the current scene of elections where the govt has turned selfish to gather votes rather than maintain some stability and security. You cant blame the govt officials as they might easily say its upto the army to maintain the security. But even the armed forces require some assertive leadership and their leadership looks to the govt for directions so its a confirmed mess.

One might wonder how all this affects NRIs. But I feel it affects them more as India is the anchor for them- the greatest source of stability and security. Any and every news about India is keenly followed and greatly magnified and thoroughly analysed. Patriotism is at its peak in all desi groups abroad and at its best. Overall the situation India faces, with its terrifying neighbours is more frightening than all these stories about recession and job losses!

When will India come out of this - Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you - peaceful approach?

This is SP expressing her deep set fears...

The IPL Mania - the current scenario

2009-04-27T05:12:00.000-07:00

Everyone's got something to say about the IPL. It seems to have overtaken the election discussions. Although May 16th still looms like a predicted earthquake most Indians are fed up discussing the future of Democratic India.

Here are some interesting points I've collected about IPL from across the globe:

Delhi Daredevils are the hot fav for the title this year - they really have the best opening pair of the world. Definite place in the finals.
Deccan Chargers are suprised with their own success - with a poor support from the world Hyderabadis and Andhrites you need not be surprised with their lack of spirit. I've decided to ask all my friends who declare themselves as Pakka Hyderabadis to wake up and post some support on the DC blogs. I've started a mini campaign for the DCs after listening to Gilchrist's awestruck tone - 'We didnt have this score after an entire series last year'! They might just make it to the semis if they keep it up!
Punjab XI are doing well but retain their headstrong attiude - We were surprised to have lost - attitude of 2008. With this kind of attitude it won't be a big surprise if they lose this year too and again in the Semis. They don't have to mind too much because Ms.Zinta is always there to hug and console each one of them.
Chennai Super Kings keep mustering enormous support from all over the world. They act as if they are the BEST. I say they have the BEST man DHONI that's all. But their dress code sucks Yellow for heaven's sake is not too pleasing to the eyes. Can they win? They have a good chance if Dhoni takes up his role seriously. Semi-finals is a must - Mind it!
Rajasthan Royals poor guys again this year they have a poor batting line up and a poor team. Shane is their outstanding performer and the best captain. With their new trump card(Khan) they might just manage till the semi-finals. Don't know what's Shilpa upto - nothing except her banana smiles and lots of giggling with her younger sister!
Mumbai Indians have some good players and great support but as a team don't seem to be making it great. Sachin is in top form and may help push them till the Semis.
Banglore Royal Challengers -quite a fancy name and nothing much apart from that. I don't see any great stuff happening there and with Dravid on 'paternity leave' some of the runs might reduce too! Sure elimination!
Kolkota Knight Riders or Khan Knight Riders(renamed) seems to be in dire straits. Inspite of the dynamic SRK supporting it on all non-cricketing terms the team seems to be faring miserably. Saurav seems to be the only consistent performer and most of the team spirt seems to be missing after he was removed from the captaincy. He doesn't mind it but excuse us - the rest of the world including his team seems to really feel it! They are on the royal path to elimination.

This is SP reporting from Brussels - opinions collected from friends all over the world and summarised.

Kamran Kiri-ket Khan!

2009-04-25T05:50:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of youngsters in this IPL who might not know the 'C' of the word 'Cricket' but surely know whats a long hop, leg by, first slip, middle order, yorker, dot, etc.!

IPL as it designed to do HAS actually promoted tons of talent in India. Many youngsters whom we would never have discovered are being discovered and some have gone to SA this year without ever having played a first class cricket match or spoken a single sentence in English!

For example consider this dynamite Kamran Khan an 18 year old - a discovery of the season! Introduced as the trump card by Shane Warne he is a little dynamite who has a major language barrier (but no performance barriers) with the captain. As Yousuf Pathan said - 'There are a lot of expectating from Khhaamraann and Sane has got him into the Zaipur team'.

Once they get more experience all these fine cricketers surely get some fine coaches to fine tune their language skills. For now they are dealing magnificently in mixed teams with international players on an international platform with just one common love and language - the language of cricket!

Let's respect them for this spirit and encourage them to Play their best games ever!

The Invincible Modi!

2009-04-19T05:34:00.002-07:00

Been hearing tons about him but, after listening to his inaugural address of the IPL -2 yesterday I should admit that I was quite impressed.

Lalit Kumar Modi, (born November 29, 1963) is the Chairman and Commissioner of Indian Premier League, Chairman of Champions League, President and Managing director Modi Enterprises, former President of the Rajasthan Cricket Association, Vice President of BCCI, Vice President of Punjab Cricket Association, Executive Director of Godfrey Philips India and Director of Various Modi Group Companies. - Wiki

With that impressive list to back him up obviously he would be the aggressive, sharp, brash, ruthless and reviled leader as he is often fondly described as. However he DID manage to MOVE the IPL lock stock and barrel from India to the SA in under a month thanks to THIS attitude. The Move overall is very impressive and commendable - a mammoth achievement.

Maybe a loss to many advertisers, brand managers and event managers in India and ofcourse a pinch on the purse for the IPL owners but everything is not lost YET! Some profits may arise after all - after the successful launch yesterday.

Some of the salient features that bowled me over:

- The overall MOVE fighting the bureaucratic government policies and going against the norms of committees and fundas of reporting.

- Direct and immediate decision -actions must have taken place for the massive MOVE

- Proper security Measures in place

- Impressing the SA govt. into QUICK action - imagine impressing a foreign govt. to ACT fast

- Venue Management - proper grounds, entry tickets and security management

- Retaining the good will of the international players - convincing them to re-join their teams - although the money factor would have played a key role, people like Kevin Pieterson needed some goading to join in this year - (goading to go home?)

- Organising the inaugural function - the entire show and I'm sure the closing ceremoney is planned too.

- Back up plans to fill in the on the rainy cricket days! Wow today we saw some Three Tons of Fun sisters singing to the galley...

- The BOLD decision to ban the Pakistan players from playing in the IPL - almost a death statement as it turned out but nobody concerned seems to be batting even an eyelid!

The easiest thing for Modi would have been to block flight tickets and ferry the cricketers from all over the world to SA! Well thanks to him we have loads of cricket for the next month to watch and enjoy!

Three cheers to IPL and Kudos to Modi!

The 'SPIDER MAN' -IA Boys!!!

2009-04-18T03:32:00.000-07:00

It could very well become a global phenomenon - this Spider Man - ia! Atleast all the kids(the male species) I've met seem to be crazy about this Super Hero.

Peter Parker and his mysterious webs and his ability to fight off the evil-est of the villains have captivated minds. He's a definite competition to the other super heroes Batman and Superman. You don't see kids,boys or men as crazy about the other two now-adays. Maybe it's got something to do with the web creating techniques or impressing the women techniques which are different with this hero. Or maybe its the Macho Spidey's Power thrills and his powerful dialogues thrown in to impress - "With great power comes great Responsibilities"! Whatever it is, he has managed to thrill the men-folk - young and old alike. (3yrs to 90yrs?)

If you are young then you can still afford to sport a spiderman tee or squirt webs all over your friends with the web shooter. If you are old you can still play the Spiderman games online in secret or own the Spiderman game series, DVDs and the gear. Most boys would also have the spiderman outfit.

After a lot of talk about the boys - it really makes me wonder why the girls are not really obsessed with this Super hero. It's just a matter of the genetic make up maybe - girls loves Barbies and boys love Cars and Spiderman! That's a dialog I recently heard from a three year old! What logic and some excellent philosophy...

If you'd like to realise the impact of the phenomenon simply look around and observe what the kids around you admire the most! It's The Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman all the way...

The Belgian Partyholics!!!

2009-04-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

The word conjures up some youngsters with long hair, sporting funky earrings and haridos, high on dope and into heavy metal or jazz, rock, etc...

Well you've got it totally wrong in this case. I've been busy these last two weeks and unable to write because I've become a Partyholic (actually a part of the Belgian Partyholics Society- BPS) - not as described above but in various other ways.

- Planning - WHY - Organising - WHAT
- Shopping (now thats more like it) - ITALL
- Delegating
- Implementing
- Clicking Snaps - uploading and distributing the links - lemme tell u its no mean task!
- Cooking (almost forgot that!!!) - designing menus to suit the themes - delegating and finalising --- ooff!
- Total MASTI
- Dog Tired - with all the above

With the Easter vacation on and all the shops at Mid-Season Sales and ALL the Kids at home most MOMS have been running close to MAD. So a group of us designed a total back to back schedule for these two weeks to avoid ending up in asylums at the end of the holidays.

We've had to plan parties to include the bountiful energies of the kids and the dying energies of the moms. It's been a challenge and also extremely interesting for me - the observer(all times) and conductor(sometimes). This season we've tried to get inventive changing venues - indoors and outdoors, making themes, inventing games and most important get everyone involved (that can be daunting!). It's been a hell of a ride till date and we still have 5 days and 4 events left till schools reopen! Sleep well seems to be the only TIP for now!

All these are parties are mostly in the DAY - and the evening parties continue as usual - Ofcourse!!! Maybe I should start a Party Consulting website soon...

Until then you go ahead and listen to this song from Vengaboys - We Like to Party

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oldctNEsJLk

(Please feel free to contact me for any suggestions or advice for your parties ! Note - it may be Free only until I start those web services...)
(This is dedicated to all the masti gang in BPS!!! Kudos to the future...)

The Touch Wood Talismans!

2009-04-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

The range of the Evil Eye extends beyond all boundaries and instills fear across cultures. "The Evil eye is a belief that the envy elicited by the good luck of fortunate people may result in their misfortune." - Wikipedia

This week I was invited to a beauty parlor opening ceremony where I observed new methods to ward of the evil eye. The owners were Syrians settled in Germany and finally moved to Belgium. I dont know which of these cultures influenced them to break wine bottles by hitting them against each other as a symbolic gesture to ward of the Evil eye! I've heard of clinking glasses but this was something new to me and obviously lots of fun especially when we all got very dirty with the wine and champagne flowing all over the place and spilling onto us. Later, all the close friends were also asked to break some more bottles. I understood that the more noise we made there were better chances to drive away the evil - whoever or whatever that was! This was followed by lots of singing and dancing and shouting and general masti.

Reminded me a lot about the Indian house warming ceremonies where we break tons of coconuts, invite friends and pray to Ganesha and do Vasthu Shanthi puja followed by Satyanaryana Vratam! Man that's a lot of work and sure shot means of getting dog tired! But it's considered a MUST to drive away the evil.

Some interesting and other common methods to ward off an evil eye are - Apotropaic Talismans - Greece, Nazar Talismans - Turkey, amulets, Blue concentric cirlces on the Hamsa Hand - Middle East, Cornicello in Italy, The fish of the Jews, The Arthi by the Indians, The Eye of Horus in Egypt, 'Mashallah' by the Muslims, and many more jewelry and trinkets, etc. The easiest way is to say Touch wood after you say something which might invite the evil eye!

These have been used over centuries and are followed religiously for all events and situations where its felt necessary to ward off an evil eye. It might sound illogical in this Modern scientific world and some of us may laugh it off by calling them traditional superstitions. However, the fact remains that 95% of the world still follows THESE very same rituals and traditions. (source Wiki).

Knock on wood my attempts to research and write continue...

Elections in India - Death by Boredom for the NRIs!!!

2009-04-04T02:44:00.000-07:00

Chatting with friends across the globe I observed that their energy levels seemed to be in Recession! For the past six months due to the global economic changes most NRIs have been really down and depressed. This month it has reached its peak due to the elections in India.

How's that? Mostly there are 3 common sources of entertainment in the week for NRIs:

1. Read the newspaper - Indian news, regional news and anything remotely related to the city they come from to feel connected.

2. Watch cricket and more cricket and even more cricket if its possible - to feel the Indian spirit.

3. Watch every damn single movie released or not released in India to while away an evening. If its in the mother tongue then its better or else atleast in Hindi.

Now translate that into the current situation:

1. Every single newspaper or article is about the depressing Politics in the Elections. No clear cut mandate about the results. No single party majority. Every single politician's gory history is dragged through the mud. Overall sounds like a hopeless form of government led by crooks and criminals.

- Offers no sense of support to a person seeking a connection to his homeland.

2. Cricket - with the IPL moving out of India (due to the elections!) we've lost out on the biggest chunk of entertainment series. We cannot see the massive crowds, turnouts cheering every single match and cricketer and the frenzy that only an Indian crowd can achieve is unmistakably lost. About the interesting cheerleaders of last year's matches - well they probably will be shipped to South Africa - but thanks we've seen enough of them in our baseball and football matches out here! Sniff sniff...Now watching the matches will be a passing event - to be watched but not to live through it.

3. Movies the biggest ever hit - a combination of the final exams times and the elections period has seen a slump in the releases. I suppose the recession has affected it too. Overall there's nothing entertaining to watch nothing to look forward too. The movies online are pathetic and there are absolutely nothing we can do about it.

With every other NRI either packing up and going back to India or unemployed the levels of uncertainty have risen. With the three main sources of entertainmet drying up I can only call the situation a dead-end! Weekdays are long and boring and the psychiatrists may have a field day with the Stressed NRIs. Weekends can be even more pathetic coz no one is spending much to be on the safe side in 2009.

Overall its Death by Boredom out here for most NRIs.

What keeps us alive, what allows us to endure?I think it is the hope of loving or being loved. - Meister Eckhart. (Loving here symbolises stability and some connection to the homeland which inspires this stability! )

Dheeraj Rakho! Himmat Rakho!

Gulaal in Belgium!!! - The Inverse Proportion

2009-03-28T15:56:00.000-07:00

It's not about Holi in Belgium - it's about the movie Gulaal and the concept of "Privy purses" and the inverse relationship with "Dole money".

The movie does not have any stance to make it to even a C grade/category. However it made me ponder about the mind sets of the Kings and the Princes who might have lived or suffered in more than one way when the Republic of India was formed in 1947. And a basic similarity between this style of living to that of the immigrants in Belgium.

So what's this all about - the basics:

* privy purse - allowance for a monarch's personal expenses after seizing his property and title by democratic governments.

* dole money - social security allowance paid out to the unemployed/ or poor people in Belgium (and many other countries)

The Nawabs of Hyderabad (for example) were asked to give up their titles, land and money in 1947 and the Govt of India metered out some dough in proportion to their previous estates and incomes. Obviosuly this was a huge difference of lifestyles leading to severe heart burn and depression for many. The true story of riches to rags! In 1970's the Indira Gandhi govt abolished the concept of Privy purses too and asked them to go and live in the real world - earn their own money. Finally they became paupers in their own land.

Look at this contrast -

Here in Belgium dole money is very popular. People have no qualms of being 'chômage' (unemployed) infact they thrive on it. Belgium's immigrant policies are very flexible and it provides asylum to many of the East European immigrants and how do all these people survive? The main problem is that the unemployed are entitled to the dole without limitation in time and can only lose it if they refuse too often to take jobs that the National Organisation for Employment (ONEM) proposes to them. An unemployed person in Belgium receives in average 723 euro per month (in 2005), but sometimes over 1000 euro for married people with chidlren. Through organizations like CPAS this amount can go up. Well who will work when such luxury is given on a platter! Finally they become richer in foreign lands. Rags to Riches?

Maybe this is what they call the Circle of Life - The Wheel of Fortune or whatever! So, whether you are rich or poor now doesnt matter as we dont know what the future holds. Until then let's just enjoy each Day!

"Shopoholism" - Impulsive or Compulsive?

2009-03-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

Anything from window shopping to spending some great time at the mall with your girlfriends can be the best moments of a woman's life.

For most women, shopping can be a compulsive or mostly an impulsive decision. Compulsive is a regular - HAVE TO shopping binge, a much needed emotional counterpart, an adrenaline high and something to talk about. Impulsive shopping is when you accompany someone and have no particular reason to buy something but still pick it up for the heck of it - because it entered your line of vision.

Both types bring a smile to anyone's face as long as they are under control. There's a simple OLD saying - Excess of Anything is BAD.

Here are some easy ways to check if your shopping is bordering on the danger zone called SHOPOHOLISM.

- Spending over budget.

- Compulsive buying - the have to keep buying syndrome

- Hiding the problem as in hiding your purchases

- A vicious circle - you feel guilty about dumb purchases

- Impaired relationships - you keep fighting with your partner over the shopping

- Clear consequences - guilt, fights, low finances, etc.

Some of these might be true for most people - but if 3 or more are TRUE then Lady or Gentleman you HAVE a real Challenge! Check THIS and you can get back to some happy shopping.

Happy Ugadi Shopping - I just started mine today (and thus some realistic checks on my shopping personality). I'm safe for now - hope you are too!!!

Coup de grâce - EXIT mercifully?

2009-03-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

In other words Mercy Killing or Euthenasia! I know this is an old and quite a sensitive topic. I'm not going to get into whether it's Right or Wrong.

I have a neighbour, a very old lady living alone, who suffers from time to time with various ailments. Yesterday the ambulances and the nurses were all over the place trying to strap her onto the stretcher, while she continued talking to me. She kept alternating between prayers and some delirium and said it would be better to die in a dignified manner. That got me thinking about the laws and I was shocked to discover that I'm living in a country which has many pro-Euthenasia laws. I must have read about it earlier but it has to hit you to make you realise it!

Some basic thought provoking facts:
- The term euthanasia comes from the Greek words "eu"-meaning good and "thanatos"-meaning death, which combined means “well-death” or "dying well".
For me, "Dying well" means being remembered with love by friends and family and having made that tiny little mark in the world.

- This term was very loosely used by the Nazis for their famous acts of Genocide. Wiping out a complete race may have effectively helped them find their way to Hell!

- Euthenasia can be Voluntary or Involuntary. It can be Passive, Non-Active or Active. It can also be in the form of 'Assited Suicide'.
Choose your style and move to a country that supports it. It's SIMPLE! What a choice!

- Most religions in the world support forms of Euthenasia mostly the Passive form. Some call it Charity, some call it God's Call. Some Samurai rituals are akin to the active euthenasia techinques.

Now who can really believe there's God if our scriptures say we shouldn't prolong life unnecessarily - hanging on by a bare thread is supposed to be Insulting as per most religions!!!

The Belgian law allows 'assisted suicide' form of euthenasia and it was the second country in the world to make euthenasia legal. Allow people to Live in Dignity and to Die in Dignity is the motto. Some people here actually believe that it allows them to sleep happily knowing that they have this CHOICE.

I don't know whether we are aiming at relieving the Body or the Soul in these contexts. It's a humbling thought to realize that Death is inevitable but accepting that it's the Cycle of Life makes it easier to live - I feel!

Today I heard from the hospital that the old lady is better and might come back home soon. Let's pray for her and may God help her with her choices...

The Plus Size 'Framing'!

2009-03-11T14:23:00.000-07:00

Due to the human development over centuries the size of the human being has increased over time. How do we let a woman know this without touching on the sentimentalities. By Framing...

In architecture, one of the most common ways of making healthy and large people feel smaller is by expanding the world around them. Architectural designers call it “framing.” A person who is big does not want to look big. So if their house is bigger, they will look of a more average proportion. Over the past 20 years, the fashion industry has manipulated clothing sizes to accommodate its widening public, especially women. (Source Encyclopaedia).

If you observe carefully there would be an average of 2 inch variance in a 1980's dress size and a 2000's dress size. For example 20 years ago a size 6 (US) would now be a size 0.That's getting SMART!

In India, I always felt frustrated going out shopping as I never could find any ready to wear clothes to suit my style (read as size). Many shopkeepers even insulted me by saying sorry Mam we don't stock clothes for tall women or some such comments. The ultimate feeling was I was some female version of Godzilla! Most tall and healthy women complained of similar experiences of shame and disgust they felt. The concept of Framing probably passed-by the Indian fashion industry which definitely needed some inputs.

They are losing customers and their credibility. Many friends used to go to Dubai or London every 6 months just to avoid the disgusting experiences in the Indian shops. Now that I have experienced shopping abroad I totally agree with them - although at that time I used to feel it was an expense. But, yes its worth it.

The western men and women have larger bone structures and naturally the sizes vary a lot. In the US you can also get a jeans with a 56 waist size - off the shelf! That's as how far you can get...not that you should try it.

Shopping relaxes and pleases me always and especially here because most of my dresses would be easy to find and at a starting range. Gives me a kick to know I'm fine and not Godzilla after all! No need to try any Framing for me ! I fit in as I'm Tiny after all - do you see?

Note: Thanks to Anu I discovered the pleasures of shopping abroad. Anu this is for you and me.

Three Dumb Men!

2009-03-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

This is the story of three unfortunate souls who happened to fall repeatedly into my line of vision and invariably all these times were when they acted quite dumb.

I'm not a feminist - gotto make that clear before I proceed as this might easily relate to women too.

Scene 1 - at the L'arret du bus - Bus stop

Strangers greet each other - Bonjour- and make polite conversation and wait for the bus. Three Indian men(TIM) walk into the shelter and shyly look around. One of them manages a murmur of greeting. After sometime I join this group and greet everyone. The TIM ignore me and continue talking loudly in Hindi. Everyone looks at them and then at me like an action replay - curious because we are all Indians but not greeting each other. One old lady asked me today why the TIM ignored me and the first thing that came to my mind was Dumb, then I remembered some cultural funda of men not looking at women etc. Whatever it is, it definitely makes me feel very odd when I encounter TIMs in such situations. They look the other way and completly ignore our presence (women) whereas the European neighbours are polite and friendly. People obviously think its wierd and I get incensed.

Scene 2 - Crossing the Road

Next, I encountered the TIM crossing the road some 50 meters from a zebra crossing. We have well defined rules out here to use the Zebra crossing. Unfortunately they were stopped by a policeman who asked them if they were blind or Dumb to ignore rules. Now, that I understand French I couldn't control my laughter and tried to run away but as these men couldnt understand a word of French the policeman asked me to translate. Maybe it's written on my face - Translator! Anyway they were fined 50 euros for illegal crossing and warned. Lucky that he didnt charge per head!!!

Scene 3 - In the Supermarket

My trolley was loaded and I was busy trying to get them billed. And Lo! Behold whom do I encounter in the neighbouring line - obviously the TIMs. There were having some argument with the superboy/man. Having lived here for some years all the superboys know me and obviously turned to me for help. You know the language barrier and the board on my face...guess what this time:

a. They picked up one banana, two onions, one brinjal, etc. which were difficult to measure.

b. They also tried to buy one shampoo, one toothpaste from sealed - ON sale packs of three each - again a difficulty to bill

c. Last but not the least they were trying to argue and ask for discounts on each item.

I tried to explain that this is not done out here and there were some basic rules of shopping and got thoroughly embarassed. Luckily it was a non-busy timing and I escaped by saying that they might be new to Belgium.

Unfortunately if some Indians behave this way, the entire race of NRIs abroad are likely to be considered nothing but DUMB - a polite version of anything. It might be funny to read but such encounters leave me frustrated and annoyed with the Educated NRIs living in style and behaving very you-know-what!

I hope at some point there might be a change and they suddenly become Three Wise Men! Let's Pray!

Note: This has no relation to anyone in particular and for the sake of writing it's been written as a story - but surely the incidents are true and have been observed over a period of time with various TIMs.

Tiny Me - SP?!?

2009-03-09T04:34:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me now would laugh outright or be surprised at the wonderful adjective attributed to me! For one I'm not Tiny, I am tall and healthy as per the Indian stds., nor am I the silent you can go-past me without noticing me kinds! Literally or figuratively it doesnt apply at all...

Wonders and Wonders that's exactly what I was called recently and I almost fell out of my seat ! Reminded me of the 'Adjectives Lesson' learnt in school - something to do with superlative, comparative etc. The truth knocked me on my head - that an adjective is most definitely a perception and people perceive things as per their culture and things/people/objects around them.

The first 20 years of my life I was ragged constantly by friends, cousins, neighbours anyone and everyone that I was painstakingly, undernourishingly thin as a stick and people would think I'm a tiny kid always. How horrible! But then teasing has no limits. Well after marriage I moved to the other extreme of this teasing on how I starve my husband and enjoy all the food in the world. You may blame it on marital bliss, total and thorough pampering by my in-laws or the dreaded hormonal changes - Don't care what but I did add on some well needed pounds and now am ragged for that too! I got used this side of teasing for quite sometime now, that it took me a moment to realise that I was being called TINY recently at a gathering!

Can it be true? Yes it was and it was a general statement against the Indians and the French too - something like - Look at the Indians they are so TINY for example our SP here...(hee hee whatever I liked it for a moment). The next moment I loved it coz M added that - She's definitely Tiny and the kid in our group but cannot be ignored full of opinions, ideas and always restless. That's definitely Me so, I took it with a pinch of salt and kept quiet! (And obviously he became my best buddy of the week.)

Imagine these guys Germans and Dutch all of them well over 6 feet and well built, are used to seeing their women equally tall and healthy. Oh! I forgot there were some Africans too in the group - M being one of them. Ghanians and Congolese are really Huge! If they think I'm TINY then let it be- I'm simply enjoying the attention. Mingling with people from different cultures can truly be a blessing at times...

Now if anyone calls me 'Healthy' I'll still grin and grin! If you see me with a grinning face then just grin back!

"Wasabi" - The Green Fire Dragon

2009-03-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

Hello there - don't think this is a Fairy tale as the heading sounds. Now imagine a dragon breathing Fire - Would you like to become one? You must have seen some people breathe fire in Carnivals and fetes. It's actually quite easy to transform into one as I discovered being the recipient of one my husband's jokes recently!

It's simple eat WASABI and breathe some Green Fire. That's exactly what I did. Popped 2 Wasabi peanuts coz hubs claimed they were amazing and spicy and asked me to trust him (I should have got the hint with all that convincing but sometimes I can be dense). Oh La! La! AbracaDabra! and SP became a hopping fire dragon for the next 4 minutes. My hubs was obviously rolling on the floor while I enacted this Fire Dragon Act! Grrrr....

It must have been real funny to see me with fire in my mouth and tears rolling down my eyes and trying not to choke and wondering what hit me and hopping mad and all that ended in one kicking brawl. But, the amazing thing was that this feeling lasted for only 3-4 minutes and then there was a numbness followed by a craving to taste more to find out what the hell was that I had eaten. Sceptically I started on the next wasabi peanut trying to get the essence of it and now believe me I'm hooked! Wasabi is the next best thing to chilli on my list now...

Its a Japanese spice known as Japanese horseradish. It's root is used as a spice and has an extremely strong flavour. Its hotness is more like hot mustard than a chilli pepper, producing vapors that irritate the nasal passage more than the tongue. That's why I was hopping mad for only 3-4 minutes unlike a chilli which can burn your tongue for 10 minutes sometimes. Its green paste is used a condiment for sashimi and sushi dishes mostly. Its also available as as a spice in supermarkets or as an ingredient in some packed food like the wasabi peanuts I ate.

Anyone who has dared to try this before or willing to try it now please let me know your reactions.

Going Dutch - The Best Way!

2009-03-01T04:39:00.000-08:00

I'm sure most of my generation Indians would clearly understand this 'slang' phrase. "Going Dutch is a slang term indicating that each person participating in a shared activity pays for himself or herself, rather than any one person paying for anyone else. It is also called Dutch date and Dutch Treat." - Webster's

The other day I was out for lunch with a couple of my European friends and when the "l'addition" arrived no one jumped at it and one guy calculated how much each should contribute and then it was superbly settled by everyone pitching in and sharing right to the last pence. I'm used to this by now and I like it tons. I declared that 'Going Dutch' was simply superb and gave all of us many more opportunities to meet. None of the guys understood what that phrase was and there were some Dutch and German guys in the group too. I tried to rack my brains about the meaning of the term and it's origins and prayed that I hadn't insulted anyone by using it. I promised all of them to throw more light on the ancestry of this phrase and explained that it means exactly what we did.

In Europe 'Going Dutch' is a common way of living EVEN between a husband and a wife - some feministic outlook I suppose. Almost all the times when I go out with my husband we are asked if we'd like to pay together or seperatly. That's part of the culture here. But where did that phrase originate? It's very simple its an etiquette followed in the Netherlands. During the Anglo - Dutch wars, over the centuries, the English uncovered this etiquette - vastly different from the English chivalry and thus a source of entertainment. At first it was used to ridicule people but later became a more accepted form of modern living.

In India I grew up with the more traditional form of payment method, i.e. the MAN pays it all. My husband conforms to the old world traditions in all payments and never allows me to spend a dime until its a present for him. (It's fantastic for me but unbelievable for my European friends. Most of them think I lead the life of a princess or some royalty coz my husband pays it all...) So dear friends this phrase is simply a reflection of the culture followed in most parts of northern Europe and America. The southern half of Europe is more traditional. Italy, Greece, Spain are like India where the Man or the Head of the Family pays.

Amongst the youth it's changing and they might use various phrases depending on which part of the world they are eating in : pagare alla romana, hesabı Alman usulü ödemek, pagar a la americana, a la ley de Cristo... cada quien con su pisto, TTMM - Tera Tu Mera Main (this I never heard), Kanya-Kanyang Bayad, "AA制 (AA zhì) = Going Dutch!

Belgium for Beginners - Part III - the Language Mélange!!!

2009-02-26T09:46:00.000-08:00

This is a country which has capitalised big time on its ONE outstanding feature - its Geographical Location. Being right at the center and at the heart of Europe was both a boon and a bane over centuries. It went through the most brutal battles, was ravaged by savages and conquered by barbarians but managed to maintain its poise throughout and finally reached great heights - all because of its location. Belgium is known for its Trinity of Official languages derived from the immediate neighbours - again a matter of location!

English maybe the most popular business communication language and popular all over the world but in Europe the national language reigns Supreme. Belgium tries to maintain its pride with the various regions fighting for supremacy of their languages - French, Dutch and German. You cannot distinguish which one is more important and never mention that any one of them is easier or more popular than the other. Simply accept all the three.

If you are a visitor then try to learn the basics of atleast one language and remember to respect all the others. Needless to say - languages are developed and derived from cultures so kindly google or yahoo search a little of each culture before visiting. If you are planning to stay in Belgium get to know which area you will be staying in and the dominant language of that area before moving in.

English rarely works out here although Brussels has a self-declared status of a Cosmopolitan city. Even if you hear a little English now and then, don't expect the clarity or the accents that you are used to. This language barrier is a common complaint by ex-pats and visitors.

There's an old saying - When in Rome act like a Roman - now you may add -Talk like a Roman too! It suits the situation in Belgium. Most of the other countries have adapted to English but Belgium is either still evolving or trying to maintain its Old-world status!

"Mom - I Love Broccoli, Karela and Garlic!"

2009-02-26T06:32:00.000-08:00

While on the topic of food I remembered this discussion that some of my girl friends and I have been harping on off late. Cooking and recipes is a common source of entertainment when women meet and I'm no exception. We suddenly realised that the kids don't get to eat a particular category of food if the Moms dont like it. Forget about the husbands (they belong to the same gen)!

This realization hit us and at present most of my friends are giving it a very serious thought. Imagine the next generation grows up not knowing about the existence of a particular vegetable or a taste that we took for granted as we grew up.

The common hate factor was Karela - most people don't appreciate it's bitter taste so avoid it completly ignoring it nutritious values. Another was Brinjal. Personally I can't imagine food without these two maybe because I saw abundance of these two while growing up.

I grew up without the influence of ginger-garlic pastes or any normal masalas coz my mom thought it wasn't good for health or she might have learnt it that way from her mom! There was this misconception that garlic was used mostly by the non-vegetarians and so was almost banned in the vegetarian households of our ancestors and thus the influence continued.

This is constraining the Knowledge transfer through the generations. I suppose now all these super-moms should become super-human too and suppress their aversions for proper knowledge transfer. They should allow the household to form their own opinions while keeping their perceptions to themselves. This is a little far-fetched and very difficult but necessary if you look at the big picture! I've seen my MIL achieve this so I suppose it is do-able.

Let's try to help pass on the tastes through the ages. People should learn to appreciate all the tastes bitter-sour-sweet- salt and get on with life!

If you know of anything that I don't like to cook just let me know about it because generally food and I walk hand-in-hand. But, there is always scope for improvement!

(Thanks to the ladies who hate Broccoli, Karela, Brinjal, etc. now we strongly feel we need to change our styles of cooking.)

Belgium for Beginners - Part II - the Food

2009-02-26T03:42:00.000-08:00

If you are travelling from India and are here to stay then you better be prepared to get experimental with your food. The Indian palate is not designed to accept bland food (read as no seasoning) or coarse food (read as sandwiches hard to bite) or rare/medium food (read as half cooked meat)! That's just a starter...

Belgian cuisine is similar to French, based on game and seafood. Butter, cream, beer and wine are generously used in cooking. French cuisine is considered the best in the world - dainty, classic and tasty. A cut above the rest! But definitely its a question of palate and seasoning. The rest of the world seems to enjoy bland food. The blander the better and what a nightmare for Indians. You do get acclimitised to some aspects after a time but the basic craving remains.

Now if you are vegetarian then GOD save you. For one - you wont know what to choose from the menu and two - you wont know how to ask in a language which they understand. So, a restaurant outing can be a nightmare at the beginning. Meat eaters, too, need to ask for a well cooked steak and check that it's not ham or pork if they are religious!

The Flip side of things is that you get amazing Viennoiseries - all types of fresh bread, croissants, pain au chocolate, baguettes, brioches, raisin buns, etc, all very delectable !

Some of the top of the tops available here are:

1. The Belgian fries - frites (invented by the Belgians not the French)

2. The Belgian beer (400 varieties are brewed here)

3. The Belgian chocolate (the highest export)

4. The Belgian waffles - simply world class

(and my latest Favorite is - The Tartines!)

The supermarkets are well stocked with juicy fruits and fresh 'English' vegetables! Meat varieties are unlimited and the 'Ready to eat' varieties are mind boggling. Cooking is easy here with all the tinned food and the freezer gardens.

Ofcourse you have the traditional South Asian shops selling everything from mustard to mint but then, they are way out of the normal living areas. You've gotto make an expedition (we call it) to reach them and trolley back your purchases from those outlandish areas. A little difficult but worth the effort!

The rest is upto you. Cook your food or Buy your food and simply- dig in! And while you are at it don't bother about that waist line or the extra calories! Bon Appetit!

(Thanks to Alexandra who inspired me to write this...answering her questions on Indian culinary tastes and the Belgium influence!)

The Oscar goes to...

2009-02-23T01:55:00.000-08:00

After all that Oscar mania I was really tempted to day dream a little more. I hit upon the idea that I should ask my friends what they like the best about me and if I had to win an award what category would they think I would get it!

Everything need not be Filmi like screenplay or direction so I asked them to get as creative as possible. I received nothing less that 26 categories some outrageous comedies and some really sincere compliments. But why this exercise - simply to feel good - sounds like Vanity too but then a woman requires a little pampering now and then - such exercises can be excused.

Here are some of the awards categories (in no particular order) that I'm entitled to:

- Best Troublemaker (this one is my favorite)

- Best Useless Fellow (that's my hubs decision and his pet name for me)

- Best Fight Master (this one is grrr - dunno wht's that for I'm the most peaceful person in this universe right!)

- Best Comedian (I liked this coz it sounds better than Joker)

- Best Attire (hmm thats nice!)

- Best Irritating Positive Outlook (that's from someone who is really bugged with me)

- Best Cheerful Face (I can't imagine how I look w/o this face- born with it)

- Most Vivacious Person (nothing to beat this & only a best friend can say such things)

- Best Lazy Oaf (thats from my dear sister and seconded by mom - they know me the best - wow what love!)

And the Oscar goes to...

My Oscar speech:

I'm so thrilled (sniff sniff) - never expected that I had such friends - well from now on these titles become synonymous with my name and I have to get used to it (sniff sniff). Before I get emotional I wish to thank all the people who supported me in my life- my dad, my mom, my hubs, my sis, my BIL, my nephews, my doggie, my first class teacher, my neighbours father, his daugher and her friends and my aunt's sister and all those thousands of people out there viewing(reading) this post and encouraging me! (Also have to thank George Clooney for inspiring me to create this speech!!!)

P.S. Any additional awards will be screened and scrutinised by the awarding committee. Entries to be sent through the comments box!

Restoring Identity - The Stolen Generations

2009-02-20T14:16:00.000-08:00

The Stolen Generations is a term used to describe those children of Australian Aboriginal descent who were "removed" from their families by the Australian government or church missionaries for reasons known only to them. This "removal" occured for over 100 years between 1850s and 1970 - continuing well into the modern world.

C'est tre's Bizarre! Mais c'est Vrai! Its History and its a reality. Quite well depicted in a fictional movie - Australia. Although the movie doesnt deal with the reasons or causes or solutions to this behavior it atleast made many people aware that this is actually a reality and not just a part of the history books.

The world has seen many outrageous episodes such as Hiroshima, The Hitler mania, The Gulf war, 9/11 and the recent 26/11 which have killed thousands of people. Great tragedies! Loss of life can never be compensated. I consider this "removal" of children from their families to be on par or even more than these tragedies. Its a total loss of culture, identity, security and even if it doesnt equal the loss of life - its the loss of identities changing most into living aliens - neither here nor there! The "removed generations" are lost forever and we can't even gauge the personal loss of each family!

So have we lost some old world customs and traditions followed by generations of Aborigines? For now this seems to be an excellent political debate - who cares? Does anyone care to take measure to restore some identities?

Check out what's the latest on this issue - http://www.eniar.org/stolengenerations.html

Belgium for Beginners - Part I - the Northern Light

2009-02-20T13:43:00.000-08:00

After a chilling winter - said to be one of the coldest in the past 25 years - the weather has now reverted itself to what all visitors are warned against: chronic rain.

I was waiting in a hospital lounge and what better to do than read an old English magazine (for the first time I found something in English). I was amazed to read this description- "Belgium occupies roughly the same parallel as Irkutsk and Moose Jaw", in an article by Leona Francombe. Now something caught my attention and it took me sometime to figure out that she kept drawing parallels between Belgium and these outlandish sounding names of places in Siberia because of the depressing weather! A little harsh but true.

Some general weather updates:

- Common weather throughout the year - RAIN

- Windy as HELL

- Jackets - NEEDED throughout the year

- Learn to live/work/talk/eat in the dark (but save electricity as much as possible big time)

- Dont expect the day to start or end as per normal time

- Sometimes the sun rises at 9am and sometimes it sets at 11pm too depending on the season

The Northern light is a TREASURE - you have to enjoy every second of daylight and freak out if there is SUN light! Not an exaggeration because most days you would wake up to a dull, depressing, dark, rainy day and you are expected to live a normal life and not get affected by your surroundings!

The only way to be cool is to be mentally active and alert and have good friends around you always. The minute you lose touch with society you can easily decline into oblivion - thats the power of the NORTHERN Light (or the lack of it)!

I've painted quite a sad picture but if I can stay cheerful inspite of the weather and lack of light so can YOU! I suppose I can live in Saskatchewan or Irkutsk too with this experience - what say?

The Amish - The Other World!

2009-02-18T14:06:00.001-08:00

Can you imagine life without electricity or Television or Telephones. How would you feel if you didn't have a car or a bike to commute? I can imagine life w/o some of these but telephone goes beyond every nightmare.

But why do you need to think of a life like this? I just saw a program about the AMISH and realized that they are a society within a society. In America - In Philadelphia within 2 hours driving distance from the world's leading business city - New York. Yes, these people live without all these luxuries - which we have taken for granted. They lead their lives exactly as their ancestors did 300 years ago. Their dress, means of transportation (horse buggy), their customs and traditions and most important their faith in God is exactly the same as their forefathers designed.

Originally from Germany and Switzerland these people migrated to the west and are now known as the Pennsylvania Dutch folk. Their language sounds like Dutch - German. So how do they survive in this competitive world? Money- business - school - how where what? I was intrigued to find out more. Its simple they follow some basic rules:

Farming is the primary means of income
Follow the rules laid down by the forefathers to the 'T' - they survived happily so can we
They send their children to their own schools till 14 years
They support each other - social interaction is high on their agenda of lifestyles

GOD and Thy Neighbour will protect you throughout life! That's' the underlying secure feeling they carry!

Its Amazing how Generations together have managed to hold onto their beliefs and its no wonder that they are UN_HIT by these worldly RECESSIONS. Now that's a thought which we should dwell on! Check out this link for more details on this blissful existence -

http://www.800padutch.com/amish.shtml

Cider - my latest acquired taste!

2009-02-17T13:10:00.000-08:00

In simple terms its apple juice - which I always liked since my childhood. Apple was/ is my favorite fruit and its not a surprise that Cider should appeal to my tastebuds.

The fundu discovery I've made recently is that fermented apple ciders become alcoholic beverages and are very popular in the western world. You get hot ciders, cold ciders, dark ciders, clear ciders, dry ciders, sweet ciders, sparkling and still ciders too. After the beer tasting mania of the last couple of years now its the cider adventure that I plan to undertake. I've noticed people toning down their alcohol intake by moving to cider drinks once per week or more. Good idea! Drinking cider is mainly thought to be a very English custom and is very popular in the UK. (Overall, the UK produces 500 million litres of cider per year source Wikipedia).

Let me tell you Hot Cider (cidre in French) can be the best drink to be had in this cold depressing weather! Right now I'm enjoying a hot chocolate brownie and dreaming of hot cider and feel that life is at its best!

Hugs 'N' Roses - St. Valentines

2009-02-16T15:10:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day was a fun affair this year. The entire city was decorated and was aimed at making even the gloomiest person happy.

We went to check out some shops and the ambiance in the city center and were not disappointed with the decor or the mood. Its great to see that its not the young or the youth that celebrate St.Valentines here but the middle aged and the old enter into the festive spirit with gusto. We regularly see middle aged couples (40- 60) walking hand in hand on the streets here and on St. Valentine this hand in hand walking was accompanied by red roses and beaming faces. Such happiness and contentment can surely bring a smile to anyone's face. The youngsters were well wrapped around each other and beaming all the way too. Overall the smiles were contagious!

Another interesting feature was the "Free Hugs" posters. Its not uncommon to see these things all over the place during all festivals or carnivals - but on St. Valentines I spotted gangs of pretty women and groups of handsome hunks with these posters all over the place. It was fascinating to watch the giggles and some bold approaches and some shy applicants for the free hugs. It was a neat affair and that's why the gang to protect each other! As a passer by I was thoroughly amused with the whole thing as its a totally new concept for me. Hubs was quite flustered and I did enjoy teasing him a little.

Chivalry was all over the place too. People giving out free roses and showering extra courtesies by holding the door for the ladies extra wide was pleasant to watch. We went to a movie and the gentleman right in front of us held the door for me - with a great big smile and with a rose in his hand he welcomed us into the theater. It took us a moment to realise that he was trying to be extra chivalrous and funny at the same time. He must have been well over 60 and he smiled and wished both of us a great Valentines day! That was a real highlight to my day.

Hope to see many more lovely days like this!

Luck By Chance

2009-02-14T13:44:00.000-08:00

I don't believe too much in luck and neither does Farhan Akhtar. So why the title?

Its one of those realistic movies which seem to hit you more often nowadays. Gone are those lovely romantic movies like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai or DDLJ. Now you see more reality movies than you'd like! This movie is more like the other one Madhur Bhandarkar's Fashion - not a great difference from the modelling world to the movie world totally superficial!

I wont say its too bad its fine you can watch it - just don't expect too much from it as a movie lover!

There were a total of TWO good dialogs in the movie
1. You choose Success or Failure - you can choose to sit down and crib OR to do something about your life!
That one was cool one and that's the whole gist of the movie. What Farhan wants to prove is that Luck plays little role in reality - you've gotta be smart and be at the right places at the right times!

2. When you succeed let not success hit you so much that you crave for power, fame, money, lifestyles, etc and tend to ignore those important people in your life who were a part of your life before this success - those people who encouraged you and who were your friends when you were not successful!
Wow what a dialog! That's the moral of the movie delivered by the One and only SRK and understood by Farhan.

Its worth watching atleast for these 2 dialogs!

Its time to say ADIEU to Abitha & Chaman

2009-02-11T07:38:00.000-08:00

One day in 2008 these two smiling faces walked into my life and who was to know then that these 2 seemingly shy little waifs would create such an Impact and leave a lasting impression on my heart!

The first day they came to my house was with their parents for a mutual assessment and one of them was as shy and quiet as a mouse and the other was full of suppressed energy bursting to speak up and I got the impression of a little tornado in a bottle!

The first interesting and wonderful word that I heard from each of them was an emphatic "NO" and I knew that my work was cut out for me. Well this word continued in various forms and versions for the initial few months and hopefully has been eradicated from their dictionary by now!

First about the Tornado -as I love to call Abitha- this tornado is not the destructive kinds but definitely You Cannot Ignore ME kinds. She absorbed everything that I taught like a Sponge surprising me endlesslessly. She transformed into a beautiful talented butterfly (or should I call her the Princess Belle) right under my nose. Actually I should confess I must have been blind at the beginning not to recognise the butterfly immediately. I call that my learning phase- my moments of truth - my moments of frustration. I had to count 10 to 1 atleast a thousand times and learnt that patience IS actually the greatest virtue and then got in touch with reality to recognize the transformation or rather the Unveiling. I suppose some of my patience did work actually!

Meet her and the first thing you would spot is her bright eyes emphasising her vivid interest in life and her curious nature. And ofcourse you can't miss that energy when it hits you in waves and waves and waves. You might actually get submerged if you dont watch out. This girl is no - ok let things go by types - she needs to be there where the action is! She's smart, super smart and touchingly she is extremely emotional, passionate and has a warmth about her you cannot miss. With her natural passion she weaves her way into your heart to stay forever. Unforgettable is the word for her!

On the other hand to live up to her pet name the Tornado she retains all her childish mischief and playful attitude. Man! She can be the T for trouble and the H for headache when she wants to be! Well - that reminds me so much of myself that I'm definitely not the one to complain. You've gotta create some trouble in your childhood if not you lose the chance once you become the so called mature adult!

From, "I dont know English!", "I dont want to write", " I dont want to speak" to, " Aunty, these are my thoughts please can you listen to me NOW!"

Wow! The little lady can be forceful and as I said before you just cannot ignore her!She's the fairy tale Princess - dreams and lives it out and ofcourse loves Belle (maybe more because inadvertently it slipped out that Belle is my favorite too).

A natural leader she's got to be nourished, loved and guided well for an excellent future ahead!

Hmm what about the other little kid? Under all this overpowering influence of his sister the little brother not to be outdone emerged slowly and steadily until one day he declared his independence. From the - Stick to akka attitude he became I AM Chaman!

Being the youngest in my group not to be outdone he became the fastest writer and a glib talker. Wow can he talk! Nonstop and all in English. Fascinating to watch his struggle to get his thoughts into words but he has an undying never give up attitude. With an amazing ability to pick up all that his sister learns and adapting them to his own style and adding his own thoughts he stood up to claim his own space. With his new found confidence he slowly turned into a motivator for the group encouraging all the others to follow instructions and speak only in English with me.

Everday its a wrench and a struggle and a small internal battle for him to go back home. He kept asking his mom why is that she had to take him early always or why couldnt he stay for some more time. Don't know how this comfort developed - it really surprises me too many a times because I always felt that I was not very good with interacting with small children. Seems that I can actually hold their interest for a couple of hours atleast. Wow how much confidence a little kid of 3 can give an adult is to be experienced to understand.

I always asked mom how she felt at the end of a year when she had to let go of a batch of children whom she taught for a complete year. How did she feel? Did she miss them? How did she move on? She told me that ofcourse initially it was difficult but later you learn that you are letting them move on because you love them and they have to find their own feet in life. Its like your own children how you let them go to school on the first day. Love them and watch them grow she said! Thanks mom that's exactly what I have to do now.

Its heart wrenching to think that I wont see them for sometime now as they are going back to India this week. I've written this for myself trying to capture my feelings for them but I hope sometime when they grow up they might read this and remember me as I will always remember them.

I wont say bye but I will say as the French say - AU REVOIR (until we meet again). Dear Abitha and Chaman Au Revoir to both of you.

Yours

Siva Priya Aunty

Soulmates!!!

2009-01-15T11:38:00.000-08:00

Soulmates - who are they? Do they exist? Do u have one? Well I do!

To Have one - Its thrilling! Its enriching! Its FUN! Its life! Its like smiling while eating your favorite ice cream - close your eyes and savour the taste. That's what a soulmate does to you - keeps you in a constant secure zone of trust and friendship!

And this happens only when 2 people feel they bond and at the same time! You cannot go upto someone and say hey hi would you be my soulmate! That's hilarious. You've gotta connect and feel it.

People laugh when I say I have a couple of soulmates. Cant help it I just do have two people whom I have really connected with well and really well. Hmm Maybe that's why I have these extra amounts of bountiful energy, never say die attitude and the ever lasting smile on my face! Someone once said that I've got this irritating Positive attitude and outlook well that's just me - Thanks to my friends. Couldn't ask for anything more rite?

Sometimes a chance meeting can bond you with someone asap. Sometimes it takes years to understand that you've been staring at your soulmate for all that time without realising it. Sometimes you just know it!

And what is the difference in best friends and soulmates? I think friendship is something which needs constant interaction to thrive. Soulmates do not. U can be totally out of touch for sometime but u know that they are there. My hubs has this one soulmate - although he doesn't call him so - u know how it is different for guys - they generally don't like expressing through such words! Anyway these two guys maybe haven't met in 6 years but declare themselves as die hard friends fans and more and knowing both of them - I can say Yes they are! Well there's your soulmate.

Someone who understands you so well that she completes your thoughts and sentences. You don't have to explain a damn thing - no excuses - no explanations - nothing - just be yourself - no pretensions.

Every husband and wife might not achieve this relationship but it would be great to be soulmates. Its only on paper or in a romantic novel. But mostly in a married relationship people expect too much of each other or take each other for granted which is detrimental to the concept of soulmates. Well that's another issue all together and digresses from the topic.

Another thing about soulmates is that everyone who knows you will also know, hear or meet your soulmate!!! Its kinda irritating but then that's what happens. They kind of grow on you... so much so that your family, friends and colleagues all hear about it. Now imagine life when u have 4-5 soulmates. Your conversation would revolve around them about them and everyone around you would get pissed off. Imagine the time when u fall in love and have this dreamy eyes starry look. Soulmates give you that hazy look on a permanent level because you are so confident so secure so assured that people care for you and that you have someone to depend on! That's goes right to the core of the human wants in life - love and security!

It scores 10/10 on the human scale. That's a unique thing you might be lucky to get in life! I'm blessed and hope you are too...Have fun!

Irresistable it is and at the cost of repeating myself I simply have to mention the names on my list - One is ofcourse my dearest hubs and best friend Chandrashekar. The other is also ofcourse Ekta our friendship simply transcends all these earthly words.

If you haven't heard of these two people in my life then you dont know me at all!

The Outsider, My friend

2008-02-07T03:50:00.000-08:00

Well its about Women! Especially women in India! Do u feel like an outsider in your own house? How do u actually feel after u move to a new house? How long does it take to consider Ur in-laws house as your own house? How many days/months/years? Does it ever happen even or is it part of the "have to adjust syndrome" one grows up with.

As a volunteer working with women who faced challenges on the home front I used to hear frequently that they felt like an "Outsider". And this feeling continued for ages until they gave up on trying to become a part and considered themselves as an extension of the family tree necessary for the continuation of the lineage which need not necessarily include their inclusion in the family.

How many husbands understand this. I'm not talking of a nuclear urbanised family. I'm talking of the majority. Things are changing yes I agree too, but how fast and will it ever happen? When my friends or I become mils will we be the same. I don't know that's still another 20 years away so lets not dream about it. For now my generation still faces the same old - age old problem of being considered as "outsiders". Imagine living in a house for a decade and facing daily reminders that u have come from another family. Excuse -us we just chose to live with you'll for the rest of our lives. Where does that go to?

My experience has been different as I knew my in-laws before my marriage and was eagerly welcomed. In fact my mil and I keep discussing such issues as this and what we could do about it. That's interesting coz she gives her views on behalf of her generation and I on behalf of mine. Well atleast these are perspectives. I can take that. Its interesting to understand that a woman forms the core of the family even though its a male dominated society. AND the basic fact is two woman cannot share the same turf. And in most cases the daughter-in-law has to understand that and shut up.

Well even in the circles of urban modern nuclear families think about how many d-i-ls are ready to go to their in-laws place at the drop of the hat.They feel comfortable being where they are and try to reduce as much as possible the dreaded in-laws visit. Or if they are forced to meet they grin and bear it and later come and crib endlessly to anyone who is free to listen. That's the truth accept it.

After so much thought we have to try to come up with solutions. The best solution is learn to grin and bear it. No fights, no harm, no problems and both the ladies are happy. Well I can't face brick bats for that statement but then that's the only tried and tested way of surviving.

Ok Ok Lets think of more reasonable ones. I strongly believe that "U" are the only one who is and can be in control of every situation. U make the world a better place. Try your best and just leave the rest. There are some people whom you cannot change - once you accept that statement deep down you will feel better - much better and try to make you new house your home. It's not called adjusting then its called having tried your best that's all. AND as an educated woman never give up or give in to harassment. It's your life so u better have some control over it.

The world would be a better place if d-i-ls stopped cribbing about their in-laws and the unfair treatment. Lets give our children a safer and better world. Shall we try?

Well I'm open to more suggestions. Tell me more...